


paggising

by yadoiangel



Series: sa lahat ng panahong dumaan, ako’y iyong natagpuan [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Gen, Genderfluid Kozume Kenma, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, M/M, Philippine mythology, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadoiangel/pseuds/yadoiangel
Summary: pag•gisingverb• to awake from a sleeping stateIt was shaping up to be just another normal life lived until a new(?) consciousness makes itself known alongside Kenma's mortal ken. Fortunately, another god he wasn't aware he had a history with was willing to help out.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: sa lahat ng panahong dumaan, ako’y iyong natagpuan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095104
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17
Collections: Kenma Ship Week 2020





	paggising

**Author's Note:**

> Just click the subscripts for translations! Also I have no beta, so please excuse all the little errors I might have missed. 😅  
>  Please let me know if the links for the translations doesn't work too!

In Kenma's first lifetime as the god of lost things, he was as lost as his title indicated.

He wasn't aware he was a god, not at first; it was a life that started out normal. His parents were absentees; he was often alone and as such, was left to his own devices. He learned to care for himself at an early age, never wanting the help of another person. He would sometimes dream of different lives in different times; of people who he hasn't met yet but who already leave an ache in his chest; of places he's never been before but feel such a longing for; of forms he wasn't aware he could take and things wasn't aware he could do.

It led to him alienating all the other children he would meet—led to him being dubbed as the 'weird' one whenever he would tell tales of these dreams, led to him being picked on and bullied. It led to him being shy and withdrawn, finding comfort in the offerings of the modern world such as video games. This led to his parents picking on him too, forcing him to make friends and criticizing him whenever he stayed inside too much or if he didn’t talk enough. It never worked on _fixing_ Kenma—in their eyes that was what all the bullying was for—and all it _did_ do was make a cynic of him, resentful that just because they were older meant they could say and do whatever they wanted without any consideration for him.

One rare day when his parents were home, his mother called him down from his room to meet someone new. He was dreading it, like all the other times Kenma met someone new through his mother. He was preparing himself for the worst, trying to think of ways to escape the inevitable play time alone with a new kid.

“We’re the Kuroo family, we moved in from next door and just came to say hello,” the man said to his mother.

Kenma was hiding behind his mother’s legs, but he saw a kid about the same age as him behind the man. _He’s got funny hair,_ he thought. The kid was just staring at him, looking more afraid than Kenma was feeling. It made Kenma feel a bit better, knowing a scared person would probably avoid conversation. Kenma’s mother ushered him to invite the boy to play, and Kenma did as he was told, eager to get away from the adults more than he was anxious about another kid in his space.

“Wanna come to my room? I have video games…” Kenma asked falteringly. The boy just nodded and followed him to his room. They played in Kenma’s room entirely without talking.

~

“Tetsu-chan, it’s time to go home!” was what the man Kenma assumed to be the boy’s father called out to them a few hours after. The boy got up and almost left without a word to Kenma, if Kenma just kept quiet. He was feeling a bit guilty though, and maybe a bit unsettled—he wasn’t used to being the one _less_ afraid of people. It made him want to reach out to the boy.

“I-It’s nice playing with you,” he mumbled out, hoping he wasn’t heard. The boy paused and looked at him for a second before averting his eyes to the floor of Kenma’s room.

“Y-yeah it was. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, by the way,” the boy said, scratching the back of his neck and looking embarrassed, probably only realizing that he hasn’t introduced himself.

“I’m Kozume Kenma,” he replied, also not looking the boy in the eyes. Kuroo nodded at him, and then left.

Kenma was surprised at himself. Kuroo was shy and because of that he was silent, probably scared of having just moved to a new place and not knowing anyone; what surprised Kenma, though, was because he felt less drained than he expected to feel after spending the afternoon with a new person, which never happened before. He felt bad that another person’s discomfort at a situation was making him feel better, but not enough to want it to change—he liked not feeling _entirely_ exhausted after every interaction. Still, _just because we’re almost the same age doesn’t mean we’ll be friends. Stupid adults,_ Kenma thought, not wanting to get his hopes up. He went on about his day, not expecting to see Kuroo again.

He was wrong.

Kuroo lived with his dad and grandparents. A lot of times the adults would all be out of the house, and they arranged it so that the two kids would at least be together. Kuroo would knock on his front door first and would follow Kenma to his room where they would play a video game of Kenma’s choosing.

~

“You can come in whenever you want, you don’t need to knock anymore,” Kenma told him as he opened the door a week after that first meeting. Kuroo just nodded and followed him to his room.

~

“Wanna play fighter 4?” Kenma asked for the first time as Kuroo knocked on his bedroom door. The boy didn’t answer, so they went with that.

~

A few more weeks passed and Kuroo wasn’t knocking on his doors anymore, and while Kenma was content with playing video games, he thought Kuroo might be getting bored, and just wouldn’t say anything in case he got turned away—something Kenma knew he would do in his shoes. He was side-eyeing Kuroo from his perch on the bed before deciding to say something.

“Um… we play this all the time. Is there anything else you wanna play instead? We can do that,” He offered tentatively.

Kuroo looked as if he was going to get an aneurysm, then he went out of the room. Kenma thought he’s scared the boy away, but then he heard footsteps coming back. _Is he **running?**_ Kenma wondered, since he never saw the boy rush even once. 

Kuroo came back into the room _smiling,_ if a little tentatively, holding a volley ball in one hand. Kenma despaired at the ball, thinking _I meant **video** games,_ but he was curious about that smile on Kuroo’s face. In all the weeks they’ve been hanging out, Kuroo hasn’t shown any other expression other than the carefully blank face he always wore when he thought someone was watching. He wanted to see why volleyball was the one to put that smile on Kuroo’s face, and so soon after the two of them could be found in a nearby park with the ball, Kuroo showing Kenma the basics of receiving.

“Ooh, close! Try putting your arms like this, though”—and here he showed Kenma his arms, wrists-to-elbow together, unlike Kenma who only had his wrists together—“When you put your arms like this, the ball hits here and it goes where you want!” Kuroo was almost shouting.

 _So he does know how to talk. A lot,_ Kenma thought. “It’s not going where you want,” he said out loud to Kuroo after the boy botched a receive.

The ball went wide, going into a puddle of mud as the two kids were running after it, splattering them. When Kuroo saw how stained Kenma was he burst out laughing, pointing at the younger. They decided to go home and clean up before the adults got home to avoid a scolding. On the way Kenma stopped to pet a cat, further amusing Kuroo.

“You like cats?” Kuroo asked.

“Not really, but the lost ones always like me,” Kenma answered.

“Huh. Guess you’re just really comforting then,” Kuroo rattled on.

Kenma was about to ask what he meant by that when noticed little dots and redness on his forearms.

“Huh? Hey! Where’d all these little dots come from?” He exclaimed.

“Oh those? It’s just a little internal bleeding. They go away fast. Keep practicing and you’ll stop getting them,” Kuroo was dismissive.

At _internal bleeding_ , Kenma got anxious, thinking it would be a big deal, but Kuroo made it seem like it was nothing. At that point he started seeing Kuroo in a new light, reconciling this talkative, almost brave boy to the silent boy that sat beside his bed for weeks saying nothing.

~

They played volleyball the rest of that week too, and by the end of it, it was clear Kenma’s skills were way below Kuroo’s.

“Hey, um… why not find better people to play with? Playing volleyball with a newbie like me has to be boring,” Kenma asked after a session. Kuroo immediately denied that, shaking his head vehemently.

“Nope! Nuh-uh! Playing with you isn’t boring at all! You learn quickly and you’re super smart!” he said.

“Oh… r-really?” Kenma said, unbelieving.

“I played on a team before, but then I had to move,” Kuroo went on.

“Oh. Okay. But I think you could find more people to play with here, if you looked,” Kenma thought out loud, to which Kuroo replied nothing. _He doesn’t wanna. It’s not fun being in a new place. I get that,_ Kenma thought. He was surprised when Kuroo turned to him with a weird expression on his face, equal parts nervous and excited, asking him, “h-hey um… do you have free time this Saturday?”

“Y-yeah… what for?” Kenma asked tentatively.

“I wanna show you something!” Kuroo said.

“Okay,” Kenma said. They continued on their way home silently after that, Kenma wondering what Kuroo was going to get him into.

~

Come Saturday Kuroo was dragging Kenma by the arm to a local gym.

“You ready? Cuz here we go!” Kuroo said nervously, “I mean it! We’re gonna go in there right now!” he sounded like he was convincing himself.

“Then go,” was all Kenma replied, equally nervous but better at hiding it.

The people who were playing in the gym were on an elementary volleyball club, and Kenma realized Kuroo asked him to go because he was too nervous to go all by himself, seeing the number of people inside. Kuroo looked ready to puke, so Kenma decided to be the brave one and go further inside, trying to notice everything and anything going on. The coach saw and beckoned to them, and Kuroo immediately went, even if he was a little stiff. Kenma decided to stick by his friend’s side even as he continued looking around.

The coach started assessing them, doing receiving drills with Kuroo and Kenma. When they were deemed good enough, they were allowed to roam and watch and play. They were watching some of the drills when Kenma commented on one of them, saying, “That over there looks cool. Why don’t we do that?” on one side of the net where a team was.

“Ooh! That’s spiking! That _is_ super cool! But you can only do stuff like that if you’re really tall!” Kuroo said.

They heard a chuckle beside them, followed by, “Oh? Why don’t we lower the net then?” from an older man with a smile that showed even in his eyes.

“Oh, hey! Coach Nekomata!” the coach noticed the man and greeted him.

“The first and most important lesson to teach is how fun it is to succeed at something,” the man—coach Nekomata—continued, seemingly talking to nothing.

“It’s been a while sir! I didn’t know you were coming,” the younger coach continued.

“I just happened to be passing by today, is all,” Coach Nekomata finally replied to him, “‘Do what you love, and success will come,’ have you heard that saying?” he asked while walking. Their conversation drifted away.

Kenma looked at Kuroo to say something about a weird old man talking to no one beside them, but Kuroo was no longer by his side, running up to one of the other kids to ask them to teach him to spike. Kenma stayed on the sidelines, content with watching. The net was lowered, and Kuroo spent the entire afternoon trying to spike. Once he successfully did one, he asked for more tosses. As they went home, he had stars in his eyes, occasionally looking at his right hand.

That afternoon Kenma was left with the impression that out of the two of them, the lost one was more Kenma than it was Kuroo now.

~

After that, Kuroo suddenly got way more into volleyball, and way more annoying, in Kenma’s opinion. He got on a new team and made new friends at school, opening up more and talking to other people about things other than volleyball. Kenma stayed the same, sticking to his in-house routine. None of Kuroo’s volleyball teammates lived close, though, so Kuroo still came to Kenma’s.

They’ve gotten into the habit of watching world matches of volleyball, and Kenma treated these as he would treat his video games—analyzing plays, trying to look for ways to win as if he was on a team.

“There! Didja _see!_ He looked over to the right for just a second, making you think he’d set it there, but then he put it up to the left!” Kenma exclaimed.

Kuroo was staring at him in wonder, not watching the game anymore.

“How did you see that? I didn’t see that! Kenma, I really think you should be a setter!” Kuroo said, “It’s really cool! You get to be like, the mastermind and stuff!”

“Mastermind?” Kenma considered.

“Not only that! Setters don’t have to move around too much, either! It’s a super awesome position!” Kuroo said, which Kenma later realized were all lies.

~

They would practice together, Kuroo dragging Kenma along to the gym. Kenma would always humor him, except for the times when just the thought of moving around too much was excruciating for him, never mind being around people. Kuroo would always leave him alone on those days.

He overheard Kuroo and his father one time. Kuroo was running out with a few of his new friends with a soccer ball, likely going to the park to play.

“Ah. Tetsu-kun!” his father called from the front of their house, “Say, do you mind taking Kenma out with you to play soccer sometime? Maybe?” his father asked.

Kuroo thought about that for a while, hand on his chin, then answered, “But I don’t think he wants to go, sir. I understand not wanting to go out sometimes. If he wants to go even a little, I’ll definitely invite him along, but right now I don’t think he wants to at all,” Kuroo said, then tried to backtrack, “When he _does_ want to do something, he tries as hard as he can, though. So I don’t think you have to worry,” Kuroo finished, then ran off again with his friends to play soccer.

Kenma was…touched. Nobody understood why he sometimes just wanted to shut everyone out and stay in his room for a day or two, and he was always screamed at for staying inside far too much. Kuroo said it so carelessly, as if it was _normal,_ not something a weirdo like him would do, and at that moment Kuroo earned a bit of Kenma’s trust and loyalty.

~

The two stayed close throughout their elementary and middle school years, even if Kuroo was a year ahead of Kenma. In middle school Kuroo finally persuaded him to join a volleyball team, and with Kuroo he learned how to talk—how to say no, primarily; how to make small talk, how to tease, how to see non-verbal cues—and even if he didn’t have everything down to pat at least he was a ways past that shy, withdrawn little boy he was. Although, he never enjoyed conversation as much as he did with Kuroo.

He learned that the old coach who spoke to them all those years ago—coach Nekomata—was the coach at the Nekoma High School Volleyball Club, and that’s where Kuroo was planning to go for high school. Kenma thought _Guess the old coach left an impression on him, huh?_ when Kuroo told him, but didn’t get to say before Kuroo asked him a question.

“Can you go there too? Play with me a bit more. I know it’s your choice but as your one and only friend, can I ask you to stick with me? Nekoma’s supposed to be a powerhouse but we haven’t gone to nationals for a few years now… I think with us we can go that far…” Kuroo was tossing a ball in the air on Kenma’s bed.

“How thick is your face?” Kenma asked from his gaming chair on the side of the bed.

“Pretty thick, if I say so myself. I’ve gotta make up for your spinelessness,” Kuroo teased him, to which Kenma took a pillow and slammed it on Kuroo’s face.

“Is that how you ask someone for a favor?” Kenma scolded, “You think after that I wanna go with you, huh? Who’re you calling spineless now?” Kenma added, hitting Kuroo a few more times. Kuroo retaliated by pulling Kenma from his chair, then crowded him in on the bed, trapping his arms and just putting all his dead weight on the younger.

“See, you can’t even do anything! You’re so helpless! If you go to Nekoma I’ll be your precious senpai to guide you throughout the years of high school~” Kuroo droned as Kenma wrestled to get out from under him.

“Get off, you huge rooster!” Kenma was struggling, but Kuroo just went through his first growth spurt and was taller and heavier.

“You gotta agree to go to Nekoma first,” Kuroo bargained.

“Really? Coercion?!” Kenma gasped out, getting tired from all the moving.

“I like to call it a little insistence,” Kuroo said pleasantly, putting his hands behind his head and effectively on top of Kenma’s, patting him, “So, what’ll it be, Kenma?”

“Fine fine! Just get off,” Kenma grumbled, giving up.

“I knew I could count on you!” Kuroo exclaimed as he got up and took his phone, “I’m telling Kai and Yaku right now, so no taking that back,” Kuroo said distractedly as he prepared to go home. Just as he was about to go out the door he turned back to Kenma sitting up on the bed.

“Thanks, Kenma,” he said with a brilliant smile then went out.

Kuroo didn’t really have to force Kenma, since the younger didn’t have any preference for a high school. That part about him still didn’t change—he never had any preferences for most things, and his answer to any question about what he liked or disliked would most frequently be “I don’t care.” Any suggestion would do, and if the suggestion had Kuroo in it, well, it would probably be the choice Kenma went with. He didn’t have a preference for most things—true, but when it came to a choice of Kuroo or no Kuroo, most of the time he’d go with Kuroo. After all, what Kuroo said was true—he _was_ Kenma’s one and only friend. As lost as he was with the world and everything that went on in it, being with Kuroo became the only time he felt at home, so _of course_ he would stick with that.

Not that Kenma would ever tell him that.

* * *

In high school he met Taketora and Fukunaga—his fellow first years, and finally met Kai and Yaku—senpais of his that Kuroo’s been going on about. Fukunaga was easy to get along with since he didn’t talk much and gave Kenma his space from the get go, _and_ he was weird in his own way, but Taketora was _loud,_ and he didn’t understand Kenma, so he kept pestering him to work harder than he already was.

He was annoying to say the least, and went on about guts and determination like they were a cure-all to being better at volleyball. For Kenma, who more often than not overanalyzed everything, cryptic umbrella terms were just irritating and confusing. It was better to focus on specific skills one knew they needed improvement in and work on that, and he said so to Tora. Unfortunately, Tora had his own opinions on Kenma and didn’t want advice from someone who seemed so bored and unmotivated with everything they were doing.

“I don’t wanna hear talk about guts from a wuss who don’t got any!!” Tora shouted in his face.

They were in the gym after their first practice match as a team, and Kenma decided to reach out a bit, noticing Tora was beating himself up even though they won.

“Would you shut up about guts already! I hate ambiguous terms! It’s not like it’ll let you stay alive with one hit point!” Kenma shouted back, having had enough with Tora.

“What the heck does that even mean?!” Tora said. 

They started hitting each other, but were drenched in water shortly afterward, courtesy of Fukunaga.

“That’s enou—Farrah Fawcett,” he said to the stares of everyone in the gym.

Yaku burst out laughing, saying “Fukunaga, that was awesome!” and Kenma was staring at him contemplatively.

“You’re kinda interesting, Fukunaga-kun,” Kenma told him, then walked away towards Kuroo, who was just getting back to the gym.

It was in chaos; Yaku was bent over, laughing, Kai looked apologetic next to him, and water was soaking Kenma and Tora as well as spreading on the floor. Suffice it was to say he lost his shit.

~

“Whew, I haven’t shouted that much in forever,” Kenma said on their way home.

“I told you to _at least_ put in a little effort to work together with him. I didn’t mean get into a fight!” Kuroo scolded him, “How is _that_ gonna help you two work together?” he added.

“I _tried,_ okay? I tried talking to him, but that's what happened,” Kenma muttered beside him.

~

As the two trained together more, though, they reached an understanding. Kenma was different with how he thought and played, but it was still for the team—the same goal for Tora. When he realized that, as long as they had that similarity, all the other things paled in comparison.

They still had their bickerings, though. 

“Do something about your hair, wouldja?!” he told Kenma one afternoon in their clubroom.

“What do you mean?” Kenma asked him.

“You look like that freaky girl in that one horror movie! You’re scarin’ me!” Tora said.

“Not my problem,” he mumbled out.

“When you stagger around with your hair like that, everybody looks, y’know! It makes you stick out!” Tora continued.

When Tora said _stick out,_ Kenma made a horrified face and hurried out, muttering to himself.

~

The next day he showed up to training with dyed blonde hair, surprising everyone on the team and obvious to everyone except himself and the third years, becoming closer with them—even with Tora. He started on a more rigorous training for the volleyball team (even if he sometimes tried to get out of it) but he almost quit because of the third years’ bullying.

“No quitting,” Kuroo told him, “The third years don’t have a clue, but the rest of us know how good you are. You’ll be a big asset to the team. You’re a keen observer and everything you suggest makes sense,” Kuroo said, “just wait them out and things will be better,” he finished.

 _Things will be better when I’m the captain and I can protect you,_ was what Kenma knew he meant. Kuroo always did try to protect him, even from his parents.

So Kenma stuck around. By his second year things did get better; he wouldn’t say he was _coddled_ by the third years, no, but it was nice to have more people know about his limits and consider that when making decisions, be it during a match or even just when they hang out as a team. In return what was supposed to be a mild interest in volleyball became another part of his friendship with Kuroo—he started working and exerting himself more, and this was seen by everyone, especially when Lev joined in. Normally he would have given up far earlier than he did, but there was also something about Lev Haiba that he wanted to see, a potential he knew only grinding and levelling up would show; he treated the taller like one of his newly purchased characters that he wanted to level up and that made everything a little more tolerable.

They were in Sendai for a normal training camp and a practice match with a supposed rival team of their coach’s.

During the week, Kenma got lost. He wasn’t worried though; he always got lost more than the average person, and almost always Kuroo would find him. He just sent a picture of his surroundings to Kuroo and settled down to wait—their usual routine.

He was petting what looked like a stray cat when a stranger approached him, prattling on about his volleyball shoes and volleyball in general. Kenma was hyper aware of the stranger’s words and actions, trying to see if he was going to be a threat.

After a while he deemed the stranger harmless, and from his shirt found out he was a student at the high school that they were going to play against. He kept that to himself though, making the lightest of small talks.

“I’m Hinata Shouyou!” the stranger introduced himself with a bright smile.

“Kozume… Kozume Kenma,” Kenma mumbled out.

Just when the stranger asked him what high school he was from, Kuroo found them. They went on their way to the inn they would be staying at, not noticing the intense, confused stare the orange-headed kid was shooting their way.

~

The night before the practice match with Karasuno, Tora was being his usual self and going on about a female manager, dragging in the first years with him. _At least Lev isn’t here. They’re all loud enough without the giant,_ he thought as Tora screamed out the window.

“Hey, Kenma! What do you think?” Tora asked him.

“Meh? Don’t really care either way,” he answered.

“Feh! I figured you’d say that,” Tora grumbled at him, ready to move on to the next topic.

“Still, I’m kinda looking forward to it,” Kenma said, thinking about what Shouyou told him about his team, “Our game with Karasuno.”

It was enough to say that everyone who heard was surprised, even mild-mannered Kai.

“What?! Mr. No-Enthusiasm-For-Anything is looking forward to a game?!” Tora shouted.

“Yamamoto, if you have this much energy left, do you want me giving you extra training?” Kuroo scolded.

“Err… no, Kuroo-san, I’m good,” Tora answered.

They settled down to sleep after that.

“Hey, Kenma…” Kuroo started.

“What is it Kuro? I thought you were asleep,” Kenma mumbled from beside him, already falling asleep himself.

“Why are you looking forward to our game with Karasuno? That’s a first…” Kuroo asked.

“Oh… Remember the little orange head I was talking to earlier? He’s from Karasuno. He told me their setter was a monster”—at this Kenma scoffed—“so I wanna see for myself if that’s true, and if we can beat them. Now stop bothering me, I’m falling asleep,” Kenma answered, facing his other side away from Kuroo.

“Goodnight,” Kuroo said, thinking of how far Kenma has gone. The team thought he was Mr. No-Enthusiasm-For-Anything now, but Kenma was already leagues away from when they started. _His passion’s just different from the rest of the team,_ Kuroo thought, knowing Kenma enough to know he was thinking in terms of leveling up and new bosses to fight like his video games. Kuroo thought, _hoped,_ that Kenma was getting more into volleyball, looking forward to a new boss in the form of Karasuno, which was a first in their two years of high school. It wasn’t really that surprising all things considered.

Kuroo fell asleep with a grin on his face, thinking _Finally, he’s waking up._

~

“Remember. We are blood. Never stop flowing. Keep moving. Keep bringing in the oxygen, so that our ‘brain’ can operate at his best,” Kuroo finished with his usual team huddle talk.

“Kuro, can we please stop that speech thingy? It’s embarrassing,” Kenma said to him afterward.

“Why, what’s wrong with it? It’s all about establishing the mood bro!” Tora told him, having overheard.

“It’s a great way to get pumped up and ready to play,” Kai told them both.

“See?” Kuroo smirked at Kenma, who just made a face at him.

“C’mon let’s go,” Kuroo signaled to him as he got on the court.

They were waiting for the whistle when Kenma called to Hinata.

“Shouyou. Y’know, when you asked about our team, I said I thought we’re good. But that’s not because I’m on it, It’s because we’re together,” he told him, with what almost looked like a smile on his face. Hinata was intrigued.

~

The game started and with that, Kenma started. Kuroo was enjoying seeing his friend apply himself in the best way he can—being the brain of their team, always analyzing everything that’s happening on the court, modifying their plays for the best chances to win.

The freak quick of the first year duo surprised everyone though, including their coach, so much so that after 4 consecutive points, Coach Nekomata motioned for a timeout.

“Their setter _is_ a monster, no two ways about it. He’s the one putting the ball under their number 10’s hand at that speed and accuracy, and utilizing him to be a decoy so their other hitters can score too. However, just because they have a prodigy or two on their team doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to win,” he smirked, looking at Kenma.

“If Shouyou is the core of their offense, then all we need to do is stop him,” Kenma said simply.

“Shouyou? Who’s Shouyou?” Toro asked.

“Their zippy little number 10,” Kuroo explained, shushing him to listen to their setter.

“If there’s no telling where he’s gonna go and we can’t catch him, then we need to narrow down the area in which he can move,” Kenma continued, “After that, it’s just a matter of chasing him down,” he concluded, looking at Inuoka.

“You’re the quickest guy we have, right?” Kenma asked, to which he got an enthusiastic “Yes sir! Thank you sir!”

“I think anybody who sees that super-fast set of theirs for the first time is gonna be surprised. I know I was, but there are game levels that look impossible the first time you see them too. The more you play through them, though, the more you practice… you’re gonna get used to them,” he continued, “So that’s what we need to do. Once you get used to their speed, it’ll be easier to block him,” he said to Inuoka.

“In the case of their number 9 and 10, they’re like a monster and his club. If you want to beat the monster, first take his club,” Coach Nekomata told the team, grinning at the game plan their setter put out. Kuroo was also grinning, thinking _he’s awake, alright_ , as they got back onto the court. 

~

“Again!” Hinata said to them after having just lost the first game in straight sets.

“Of course! That’s exactly what we plan to do. After all, this is a practice game. Practice means you get to do it again and again,” Coach Nekomata answered him.

~

“Again!” Hinata said again later, after losing 6 consecutive sets to Nekoma.

“Whaaaaa?! You have been running around like a maniac this whole time! How can you have energy left?!” Coach Nekomata asked him.

“Hold it right there! Enough is enough. Besides, they have a train to catch,” Coach Ukai told Hinata, holding him by the scruff of his neck

“Awwwwww,” Hinata protested.

“If you want to play us again, it’ll have to be in a tournament—on a national stage… in front of a huge crowd… under bright lights on a big court in a giant gymnasium… filled with swirling emotion. It’ll be the greatest dumpster battle that anyone has ever seen,” Coach Nekomata told them all with a grin, letting them all picture the stage he described.

~

“Kenma!” Hinata called to him as they were heading out, “Back when we met on the street the other day, you said you didn’t really like volleyball that much, right?”

“Huh? Yeah, I guess…” Kenma answered him.

“What about now? You won all those awesome games! What do you think now?” Hinata questioned.

“Um… it was… okay, I guess?” Kenma said murmured. Hinata was staring at him with an intense stare, and this time Kenma was aware of it. Strangely enough, he wasn’t uncomfortable with this one like he usual was when other people stared.

“Next time, we’re gonna make you play really hard, and make you really determined, but we’re gonna win. And then… we’re gonna make you say ‘It was really fun’ or ‘it was a hard loss’ or ‘we’re gonna get you next time’! Something, anything other than just ‘it was okay’!” Hinata all but screamed at him.

Kenma was startled for a second, but then he smiled at Hinata, saying “Okay, I’ll look forward to it.”

The third years were hanging out in the lobby of their hotel, exhausted after the first day’s match.

“Our first trip to nationals, huh?” Yaku said, “I kinda wish it wasn’t here though. I wanted to _travel—_ take the Shinkansen and go somewhere _cool,_ ” he continued.

“Next year’s—err well, it’s this year now…” Kuroo broke off, a reflective look on his face. After a while he picked up on his sentence again, “The _upcoming_ inter-high anyway. Where are they holding it again? If it’s someplace far I’ll go cheer them all on,” Kuroo said.

“You’re assuming they’ll make it,” Yaku told him with a teasing smirk.

“Have some faith in our kouhai, wouldja?” Kuroo shot back.

“Ah. Speaking of them,” Kai interrupted their bickering, looking at the vending machines where Kenma went down to buy something from, sneaking up at the people talking in line and scaring them.

“Welp. We’ve finally dragged Mr. Hates-Attention-Kenma into the nationals’ spotlight,” Yaku commented.

“He sure doesn’t look the part of a national-tournament-level athlete, does he?” Kuroo rambled on, “From when we started playing volleyball all the way up through middle school, whenever practice was particularly rough, or whenever we had a long game, he would always wind up in bed with a fever afterwards. I have to admit I feel a little guilty dragging him into the sport,” Kuroo said with a rueful laugh, “But now that we’ve made it to the national stage, a little part of me wonders if he might possibly think that maybe, possibly, he’s glad he stuck with it,” Kuroo reflected.

“Dude. This is _Kenma._ Isn’t he the kind of person who doesn’t give a flip one way or another about that?” Yaku asked him.

“Geez, Yaku. You sure can be really blunt when you want to,” Kuroo complained at him.

“Considering Kenma’s personality, I expect if he truly disliked it he would promptly quit without a second thought,” Kai observed, “right?”

Kenma was walking towards them, having bought his drink. As always, he had his phone in hand.

“Kenma! I told you, no games before lights out! You’ll ruin your quality of sleep!” Kuroo scolded him.

“Well, yeah. If I’d really wanted to quit, I would’ve quit. Still, I can’t say I wouldn’t have felt bad for Kuro,” Kenma answered Kai, having overheard.

“Wha?!” Kuroo spluttered.

“Hey, even I consider other people’s feelings sometimes,” Kenma said flippantly.

“Okay?!? If you’re going to put it that way, I’m not sure how I feel about that!” Kuroo was indignant.

“That was a _little_ of it, not _all_ of it. Geez, who would spend hours and hours in practice just because they didn’t want to make someone else feel bad?” Kenma said with one of his disgusted looks at Kuroo, then became introspective.

“Besides, if I hated volleyball, I wouldn’t keep playing it. Not that I _love_ it either, though. I figure people like Shouyou, who 100% love the sport—any sport—with all their being is pretty rare too. Me, I’m still playing _just because._ I don’t have a big, driving reason to continue, but I don’t really have any reason to quit either. Not having reasons either way is pretty normal for any athlete, I think,” he finished.

“Good point,” Kuroo said.

“That’s a logical way of thinking about it,” Kai said in approval.

“Quit making things all complicated,” Yaku berated.

“I don’t like working until I’m all out of breath, or when I’ve gotten all sweaty, but I don’t mind grinding for levels. Night,” Kenma said as he went up the stairs.

“Goodnight,” Kai said back.

“Y’know, Kenma’s never had the most stamina, but he can be stubborn about the weirdest stuff. I mean, he _does_ manage to keep up with workouts and practice and stuff,” Yaku said, then perked up, “This totally reminds me of that one story you told us, Kuroo! You know, the ‘getting up early’ one!”

“Oh yeah that one,” Kuroo laughed, remembering.

“Though ever since we started practicing with Karasuno, I have been seeing something suspiciously like enthusiasm from him,” Yaku said.

“Yeah, I know right? He hangs out with Chibi-chan a whole lot too, even though they obviously have completely opposite personalities,” Kai added.

“Chibi-chan is the rare friend Kenma made on his own, yeah, but I think a part of him looks at the kid as a kind of ‘boss’ he wants to defeat,” Kuroo replied, “I expect Shrimpy looks at him the same way—as someone he absolutely wants to beat someday.”

“I doubt Kenma will really care if he loses though. That kinda takes half the fun out of beating him,” Yaku teased.

“Hey,” Kuroo started.

“I have to say, calling practice ‘grinding for levels’ is a very Kenma thing to do,” Kai interrupted again.

Kuroo thought about that, remembering all the times Kenma was being Kenma even when he tried to console Kuroo after a sore loss or an injury or a breakup. 

“Whoa, quit it. Now isn’t the time to be reflecting on how much other people have grown,” Yaku told him with narrowed eyes.

“Hey, Yakkun, you know what the word ‘empathy’ means right?” Kuroo retorted.

“There’s only four days left of the tournament! And I’m going to be the one who stands out the most!!” Yaku declared.

“Whoa whoa, that’s going to be, thank you very much! I’m already prepared fully prepared for my interview with a pretty lady sportscaster,” Kuroo argued.

Despite Kai’s multiple interruptions earlier, the two still got into a full blown bickering session.

~

Kenma was showing his best yet—Kuroo was almost stunned. Sure, Kenma had sneered at him and scolded him that it’s because of the huddle speech that Sarukawa found out Kenma was the “brain” of Nekoma, but he took the targeting in stride, and even fought back.

“Y’know, if it’s just an endurance contest, that’d be kinda boring,” Kenma told the team during their timeout.

“Huh? You want us to mess up our serve receives on purpose?!” Lev asked him after he thought up a plan and told the team.

“Don’t use it _every_ time okay? Only when the timing is right,” Kenma clarified.

“If you want me to bump it to the spot you indicate, I can do that, but are you sure you wanna do this? You’re already exhausted,” Yaku asked him, knowing him well enough to see he was close to reaching his limit.

“Even I’m okay with moving around a _little_ bit, just as long as it isn’t something like net to end line and back all the time,” Kenma told him crossly, “It’s not like I have the hard job either—you do. Not only do you have to acclimate to Sarukawa’s strategy, now I’m telling you to intentionally bump the ball badly, but I know you can do it. All of you have mastered the _guts skill,_ ” he finished.

“Roger!” the team told him in reply, getting fired up.

~

“Nekoma’s setter, Kozume Kenma, doesn’t seem to stand out at all, but he may actually be one of the _trickiest_ setters in this tournament,” one of the commentators—Habuka-san—said during the Nekoma vs. Sarukawa game.

 _I’m not going to let you beat me in a test of endurance,_ Kenma was thinking at the deuce in their second set.

~

They win round 2, and advance to round 3 to finally meet Karasuno in an official match, if Karasuno wins theirs.

“Y’know, you made some actual effort today, especially for you,” Yaku told him during cooldown.

“Yeah. I never expected you of all people to come up with a plan that meant _more work_ for yourself,” Kuroo added.

“I decided some extra effort in set 2 was worth it so I could _completely avoid set 3,_ ” Kenma told them, “The way things were going, set 3 was _no_. Just **_no._** That would’ve wiped me out,” he added.

“Dude. You really showed some real guts out there today, Kenma,” Tora said.

“No, I didn’t. I’m not of a high enough level to use that skill yet,” Kenma replied dismissively. 

“Huh?” Tora asked, confused.

“It’s just… you know, that whole _duty_ thing? I guess?” Kenma let out an exasperated sigh, looking everywhere but at him, “You guys were all trying to work hard to keep the ball up and stuff, so I kinda, y’know, felt like I had to try it too?” he muttered.

“Yeah, and I’m saying that took guts—” Tora tried telling him again.

 ** _“Look, do we really need to give some specific, cheesy name to just trying something?! And is it really that weird for me to try?!”_** Kenma snapped.

“What’re you getting all mad for?!” Tora asked him with a surprised laugh, “Dude, you’re like a totally different guy when you’re tired!” he added.

“Your blood sugar is probably running low. Here,” Kuroo said, offering him bananas.

“Is it **_weird_** for me to try hard for my friends!? Is it really?!” Kenma continued after biting into a banana.

Everyone was surprised by that, and Tora started screaming for a hug, followed by Lev. Even Fukunaga wanted one, and Kenma tried to hold everyone back but he was overpowered and then closed in by the sweaty bodies of his teammates. Tora was still screaming.

“Yamamoto’s overreacting again,” Yaku told Kuroo, overlooking the pile.

“Hold on, Kenma called _other people_ his **_friends._** That’s a pretty amazing development, you know,” Kuroo answered.

“Now we can only hope that this convinces him to step up a little, and get more aggressive. Half as much as he is while playing his video games would be great,” Yaku continued.

“You can stop that cheesy voice-over now, thanks,” Kuroo told him wryly.

After the hug fest was done, they were back in the gym watching the others’ games. Kenma went up to him.

“Ugh. I really hate that stupid _guts_ concept. It’s too complicated for me,” Kenma complained.

 _But I did a lot of level grinding to get here,_ Kenma thought, _After all that, I want a really tough **boss battle** to challenge myself with._

They were standing side by side watching Karasuno’s match with Inarizaki, and Kuroo noticed Kenma had his game face on, that one where he had wide eyes trying to take everything in before thinking up strategies to play against a team.

Kuroo smirked to himself. _If there’s anyone out there who can get Kenma to play aggressively, it’s him,_ he thought, looking at Hinata.

 _Yo, Karasuno. We made it. Nekoma’s here, it’s your turn,_ he silently said to the team on the court, rooting for them.

~

“Did you see?” Kenma asked Kuroo after one specific rally in the match.

“Number 10’s posture was 100% a cross shot. Tsukki picked up on that and immediately moved to block the cross, while Kageyama zipped in from the center to make it a double… but number 10’s approach, his posture—they were all _feints,_ designed to lure the blockers over to the cross, opening up the _other_ side. Then he nailed it with his off hand with the full strength of a normal spike,” Kenma had excited, unseeing eyes, probably replaying and analyzing what just happened.

“Man, nationals are _scary,_ ” Kuroo replied.

Kenma shook himself out of it, turning around while saying, “Bleh. I’m sick of standing,” then went back to where their other teammates were sitting. Kuroo followed him. 

~

“He’s a model setter, that’s for sure,” Kenma commented after Inarizaki’s setter Atsumu does an underhand dig from an uncomfortable position.

“Hmm?” Kuroo looked back at him questioningly.

“I couldn’t be like him though,” Kenma continued, “I don’t have the reflexes to react to that low a ball or the speed to slide under it. Never mind having the core strength to hold myself almost flat backwards like that, and the skill to put the ball up just perfectly despite all that awkwardness. Never in a zillion years.”

“How about you not lament eloquently on how you can’t do something, hmm?” Kuroo said to him, going back to watching the game.

~

Hinata surprised everyone in the gymnasium by doing a perfect dig—inconsequential really, one of the skills a nationals level athlete _should_ have under his belt—but to everyone who knew him, they knew how impressive this was of the short middle blocker. He sent it up in a high lazy arc, and Kenma was entranced.

“Geez, Shouyou is merciless,” Kenma said, watching the long deuce of set 3.

 _That isn’t **faith.** He doesn’t **trust** his setter, whoever it would be. No, he **expects** that ball to be up there for him, right on time. He looks at his setter and **taunts** them, saying “You’re gonna do it, right?” without saying anything at all. He’s gotten good at receiving too. Someday soon he’ll be on par with the monsters he looks up to, _Kenma was thinking the same as Atsumu down on the court. He couldn’t wait for that day, anticipating just how much more _interesting_ Hinata will be then.

~

The Miya twins attempted a reversed back row minus tempo quick set, and everyone in the court was shocked; so far they haven’t attempted that play this game. Everyone _was_ shocked—except for Karasuno’s rookie tandem who were there to block it. The ball drops in Inarizaki’s court, and the game is over.

The gym burst out in cheers and exclaims, surprised that the greatest contenders lost in their first game of the tournament. Karasuno advances forward, finally able to play Nekoma in round 3.

“Welp, that’s that. Let’s go,” Kuroo told the team seriously. They go back to where they were staying for the entire tournament to rest and talk strategy.

“If Nekoma High School’s team were to be summed up in a word, that would be ‘consistent.’ And this year’s team has welcomed a new and aggressive middle blocker, bringing their offense up to new heights. However, Karasuno is riding high on a wave of momentum. I hope that Nekoma can find a way to keep them from running away with the game,” the sports caster said on TV.

“Hey whoa! Quit making it sound like we’re the worse team!” Tora said to it.

“All the buzz is saying Karasuno is better than us too. They’ve beaten a lot of good teams to get here,” Kenma commented from his bed.

“Yeah, so what? We beat a buncha really good teams too, bruh! Everybody did to get here!” Tora answered.

“Hey! How come you’ve only got your own futon out?!” Kuroo scolded.

“Yeah, but could we beat Ushiwaka or the Miya twins?” Kenma retorted back.

Kuroo and Tora both didn’t have an answer for that.

“Hey, hey! Don’t go quiet there! Say something!” Yaku laughingly told them.

“Well _I_ think you can’t know for sure unless you try. I _also_ think that rock can crush scissors, but rolls over and dies against paper,” Kuroo said nastily.

“Heh! Ah well. None of that matters, anyway,” Kenma said offhandedly, “We came all the way here so we could play them and _prove_ who’s better,” he added.

That was the best non-speech they could have heard, so Kuroo went ahead to review footage of Karasuno’s matches so far and flesh out a strategy for tomorrow. They would make sure to give it their all for tomorrow, knowing how long people looked forward to this particular match, including them.

~

“The _real_ dumpster battle is finally here, coach Nekomata,” Naoi told the older.

“Yep, but we did not come to this tournament so that we could play Karasuno. It’s just another game, albeit one that a few more people than usual have been looking forward to a little more than usual. Myself included,” Coach Nekomata said with a smile, “This team doesn’t give two flips about our old rivalry. This is about _their_ rivalry that they’ve built on their own.”

“Well well well, if it isn’t the crows of Karasuno,” Kuroo said as he shook hands with Daichi

“Masters of the divine dig,” Daichi greeted back, “We never would’ve gotten here without you,” He replied pleasantly while squeezing Kuroo’s hand entirely too hard.

The preliminaries got under way, introducing the starting lineup and rotation, and both teams were now in huddle ups just before the starting whistle.

“Awright Kenma! Let’s get out there and whoop that monster and his club!” Tora said loudly.

“It’ll be a real big pain in the butt if they force us into splitting our blockers,” Yaku added.

It _is_ known to everyone on the team that Kenma has little interest in the outcome of the game, thus he never embellishes his words. He analyzes reality and coldly calculates possibilities, nothing more.

“Is it possible? Or impossible?” their coach asked.

“Dunno,” Kenma said honestly.

“Okay! Let’s do the usual, shall we?” Kuroo said, and Tora dragged Kenma into the group huddle.

“We are blood. Never stop flowing. Keep moving. Keep bringing in the oxygen so that our ‘brain’ can operate at his best. **_Let’s devour every last scrap of their bones!”_** Kuroo finished with a chilling grin.

~

“Playing against you is interesting, Shouyou, but now I kinda wanna play a different kind of game with your team—the kind where it’s a sudden death and it’s an instant game over,” Kenma told Hinata back at the Tokyo training camp.

“Here it is! We get our ‘instant game over’ game, Kenma!” Hinata told him now across the net, having just scored off of him.

Kenma just smiled at him creepily—that smile that said he’s just getting started.

~

“Karasuno really can attack you from just about _anywhere,_ and just about _anyhow._ That was a marvelous set ball by Libero Nishinoya Yuu,” Imai-san, the other commentator, said.

“Alright boys, how do we take them down?” Kuroo said, after it was abundantly clear to them all that the Karasuno they were playing now was different from the Karasuno they played 5 months ago.

 _As many times as we’ve played them, Karasuno has never been the same team twice. Just do what we always do. Search. Adjust. Acclimate,_ Kenma thought, not really having the time to answer during a rally.

~

“That was your fault!” Yaku told to Kuroo with a kick, after they got served and stuffed by Karasuno, courtesy of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Kenma was also staring at him disapprovingly.

“Yeow!” Kuroo exclaimed, “Hey! You both know how good Tsukki is anyway!” then he turned away from them, at the other team celebrating a point.

“Hey Tsukki!” he said across the net, “How’s volleyball been for ya lately?” he asked.

“Thanks to everyone’s help… I mean that too. Thanks to everyone, once in a while… a very great while, it’s actually kind of fun,” Tsukishima said with a smile.

Kenma saw Kuroo straighten up at that, pride lining his shoulders. It was good to see him that way—being acknowledged, as directly as Tsukishima can be. Kenma thought Kuroo deserved it, knowing his friend genuinely helped the other. The whistle blew, and it was time to get back into the game. _This can wait,_ he said to himself.

~

 _He looks like he’s having fun,_ Kuroo noted, seeing the look in Kenma’s eyes in-game after Kageyama stole the ball just over the net and set to Hinata. _Guess I was right,_ he thought with a grin. Kenma _was_ getting hyped up just playing the rookie duo. Kuroo had a good feeling about that.

 _Rather than fear, respect and interest; excitement and reverence for the chance to play a skilled opponent,_ Coach Nekomata thought. “Nice, very nice indeed,” he said out loud.

“Though interestingly enough, both teams look exceptionally relaxed out there for all the intensity of this game,” Imai-san said.

“Yes, both sides are playing their hardest, with no signs of jitters. It almost looks as if they’re playing a friendly practice game on their home court out there,” Imai-san answered.

 _But… Him though… **he** is different from the others. This was a game long worked towards, a battle between rivals. A loss means the end of a season and the third years retiring. But I doubt he particularly cares about any of that. Right now, all that’s on his mind is **how much he can’t wait to pluck Karasuno’s wings,**_ Coach Nekomata thought, knowing his setter by now. After all, he was the one to see his potential, and he was the one to nurture that. _He is truly the embodiment of Nekoma right now,_ Coach Nekomata was proud.

~

 _I figured taking set 1 was going to be kinda hard. Ah well. Winning it will make the rest easier, but if we can’t take it, I want to hang in there a little longer and drag out as much info as I can… then in set 2 we can…_ Kenma was thinking as the game went on, Kuroo serving. During that particular rally he hustled to set high to Lev, surprising everyone on their team and on the other, plus the few other people they knew who were watching the game. _I move around a **little bit** too,_ Kenma thought, insulted.

“Wow Kozume-san, you can move,” Kageyama told him across the net.

“Well, yeah, I guess… I am alive after all,” Kenma told him, exasperated but already showing signs of weariness so he didn’t exert too much effort in being annoyed at the other setter.

“The more we win, the greater the opponents we will face. Even Kenma has little choice but to step up and improve,” Coach Nekomata commented on the side, “But today’s game is a little bit different, in that his opponents are likely also pulling him up to meet them,” he continued, knowing the relationship between Hinata and Kenma.

“Hey Kenma! Stop letting Kageyama show you up all the time!” Tora told him.

“What are you talking about? Are you crazy…?” Kenma said with _that_ disgusted look on his face.

“Bwuh?! That bad, huh?!” Tora was chastened.

“Don’t lump me in with guys who play crazy hard like he does. It’s rude… _to them._ Still… watch really amazing players enough times, and my mental list of ‘things I could probably do’ does get updated a bit,” Kenma continued.

Tora just looked at him with a confused face—the usual response he gets when he talked Kenma-style. Kuroo just smiled behind them, having overheard the whole exchange. _That’s my Kenma,_ he thought.

~

 _Ooh… I’m kinda good at that,_ Kenma thought to himself after he successfully baited Karasuno into a reach over foul.

“Ha ha Kenma! What’s that smile for?!” Kuroo screamed at him from the bench.

“Shut up,” Kenma told him, hiding behind his hair.

~

“What the?! Unbelievable! What an error! Karasuno is left _standing around a campfire!_ ” Habuka-san exclaimed.

“Talk about an upset! What a finish! Karasuno, the unknown warhorse, shocked everyone by knocking off powerhouse Inarizaki yesterday, but today _they’re_ the ones shocked, as Nekoma steals set 1 right out from under their noses!” Imai-san continued.

“Heh heh,” Kenma was smug, “Seems like Karasuno’s whole team is getting infected with Shouyou-itis,” he told Kuroo.

~

“You’ve gotten good at digs and bumps, Shouyou,” Kenma told him during the court side switch, “I saw during the Inarizaki game,” he added.

“Yes! Wooh!!” Hinata celebrated, having someone finally compliment him on his receiving.

“Receiving really sucks at first, doesn’t it? It’s hard and it’s tiring and it hurts. But once you learn to do it a little, suddenly it gets really interesting,” Kenma continued.

“Yeah! It’s like, ‘Oh! So this is what you were really like!’” Hinata replied, “But I’m not done yet! I’m in the middle of special training to become the awesomest ball boy ever! Just you watch!” he finished as he went to his team huddle.

“If we can get points by beating them with strong serves, then that’s obviously something we wanna do, but well… for us that’s not a viable strategy. If you can score with a service ace, though, go on and do it,” Kenma started.

“Kay!” Tora said.

“You say that like some lunch lady saying ‘anyone who wants to add veggies, go ahead,’” Kuroo replied.

“You remember what you said, Kuro? There’s no way to completely shut down any specific play. They’re gonna score. So if Shouyou would normally score 10 points… if we can make it so he only scores 7 or 8 points instead, that’ll be enough,” Kenma finished just as the ringer started for the second set.

“Wow! Kenma really is being proactive today!” Naoi said to Coach Nekomata, who only nodded approvingly.

~

“Guess my serve wasn’t placed right,” Fukunaga told Kenma after Karasuno scored on them first in the second set, Hinata going the extra mile to go around Nekoma’s targeting.

“Guess so. It really looked good to me when you did it, though,” Kenma replied with a small smile, then he turned back to the other side of the net.

“Hey Shouyou,” Kenma called.

“Yeah?” Hinata answered, excited.

“Stay interesting, ‘kay?” Kenma told him with a full smile, which made Hinata shudder and back up, wary. That was a smile Kenma showed only when he’s really in the zone and enjoying his game, mind serene and über focused on crushing his opponent, not minding _who_ he was playing against. Never in a million years did Hinata expect to be on the receiving end of that smile, and he was reminded of something—someone—from a long time ago. It made him suspect something was going on with the setter. _After the game. This can wait,_ he thought to himself.

~

Nekoma took a timeout right after Kageyama’s line serve.

“Ugh! Can’t they just, like, slack off for a rally or six? Seriously! Or be like, ‘Sorry ace, we’re pooped. You do it.’ Even better, they can do their best Kenma impression and start setting with digs,” Kuroo complained.

“Shut it, Kuro,” Kenma said.

“Dude, you do remember it’s _Karasuno_ we’re playing, right?” Yaku told him.

“They _are_ getting tired though. Nobody has infinite stamina,” Kenma commented, “Well, that goes for us too,” he added.

“Kenma,” Tora said with in all seriousness.

“Don’t. Just _don’t_. I do **_not_** want to hear that word,” Kenma warned with a hideous expression.

“Let’s see some guts, bruh!” Tora screamed teasingly, clapping Kenma on the back.

“Gaaah! Go away!” Kenma screeched, making the entire team crack up.

~

“Wow Kenma-san is scary,” Lev said just as a technical timeout sounded.

“It looks like the plan is working,” Kuroo commented after a block out on Hinata.

“How did you know to commit block Hinata right then, Kenma-san? That was scary! Are you psychic of something?!” Lev said again during the huddle.

“Lev… You know how Shouyou’s gotten fewer hits so far today than usual, right?” Kenma asked him.

“Huh? Oh yeah! You mean because we’ve aimed at him with our serves, right?” Lev answered.

“It’s not just that. We’ve also been using their libero, or whoever is close to him, so that Shouyou doesn’t have enough space for a run up,” Kenma explained.

“Y’know, there were a handful of times when I noticed Hinata didn’t really have the space for a run-up… It’s been a lot easier to narrow down who we block this game too,” Lev thought out loud.

“Karasuno is a team that asks a lot of—and gets a lot from—their middle blockers, and they are a better team for it. They also know that even if they don’t get a clean pass Kageyama won’t have any trouble shoehorning in their signature quick set,” Kai commented, “However, if we can successfully _contain_ Hinata, that quick set is mostly off the table,” he added.

“Shouyou will probably start to feel the confinement, and that will make him fidgety and anxious. He’ll get antsy to jump, and Shouyou **_really_** loves to jump. It was no coincidence that he had too much momentum and jumped into the net and fouled on that block. That only got clearer with the line shot he missed just a bit ago, and as a setter, you don’t like letting your hitters stew on a mistake too long. So I figured as soon as a good opportunity came up, Kageyama would send it straight to Shouyou,” Kenma concluded.

“Kenma-san, you are scary,” Lev said with a spooked face.

“So I’m still scary, huh?” Kenma was amused.

“Fo’ sho’,” Kuroo said.

“Yes,” Kai answered.

“Just a little. That’s all we need. I know I’ve said this before but, it’s impossible to _completely_ shut down any kind of attack, no matter what it is. All we need to do is take away just a few of those points that Karasuno feels that they always score. The little stresses will pile up and lead to little mistakes, and those little mistakes will hopefully lead to lost points. All we need are two or three, that’s it. Carefully, but not just the points, the lines too. Shouyou’s running lanes—take ‘em and cut ‘em off. A full approach is what gives Shouyou his wings,” Kenma said, steepling his fingers together and looking _decidedly_ too gleeful about cutting off his supposed friend. The look sent shivers up his teammates spines.

“What a block point by Nekoma! Will that be enough to swing the momentum their way? Was it a signal to start their comeback, or was it just a flash in the pan?! Let’s wait and see!” Imai-san was saying as the two teams discussed strategies.

“Hey Kenma, most of the time you’d expect the one looking for the really tough ‘boss fight’ to be the hero. But you… you are definitely the _evil overlord,_ and you actually like that idea,” Kuroo told him. Kai laughed at that.

“Be kind to people during your everyday, daily life okay?” he told the setter. Kenma just looked at him in confusion.

~

 _Stopping shrimpy dead is not something we can pull off. No one can, but out of all the games we’ve played together, this is the first one where he’s been **this much** of a non-entitiy. Kenma’s plan must be working even better than he himself could have hoped,_ Kuroo thought as he was analyzing to block, already having disregarded Hinata in the possible attacks.

“I told you, quit doing stuff out of nowhere,” Kenma told Lev after he tried a back attack for the first time.

“But it worked, didn’t it?” Lev said with a laugh.

Kenma could see Hinata staring at him with a frustrated face, and it made him feel for his friend—the first time this whole game.

“Uh, everything’s going almost scarily according to plan,” Kuroo told him as he switched back in, “What’s with the long look?”

“It’s sad watching the end of interesting Shouyou,” Kenma said solemnly.

 _He plucks the guy’s wings with his own hands, and then laments that he can’t fly,_ Kuroo thought, scoffing.

“You are a real pain-in-the-butt kind of person, y’know?” He asked his friend.

“Oh shut up,” Kenma answered him.

~

“Okay guys! Let’s go! There are still crows left, and we’re going to strip every one of their wings!” Kuroo cheered as Hinata once again rotated to the back row without scoring.

As the rally went on though, both teams were starting to tire. Finally after a dig set from Kenma, Karasuno scored on a block point.

 _Uh oh, Kenma’s staring to tire,_ Kuroo noticed, a detail that didn’t escape the bench’s notice as well.

 _Kenma did definitely look more excited about this game than usual. I guess this is the downside of that,_ Naoi thought.

“Should I call up Tamahiko, coach?” he asked out loud.

“Let’s hold off on that for now and keep watching. He did make it all the way through the Sarukawa game. Besides, I think it’s a little early yet to be disappointing, Kenma,” Coach Nekomata replied, looking like he was directly talking to the setter.

~

“And ace Azumane’s hit is out-of-bounds!! It’s Nekoma’s point! Just like that, Nekoma has stolen the lead for the first time this set!” Habuka-san exclaimed.

 _Next, go ahead and struggle. Desperate to get out of the cage, letting their irritation and panic take control, they’ll hunt for **shortcuts,** looking some new quick fix to get them out,_ Kenma was thinking, _And when they do that, the whole balance of their team will fall apart._

A long rally later, they shoo Sugawara out of the court without scoring. Kenma saw Hinata was _smiling_ despite having slipped.

“You okay?” Kenma couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah! Sorry about that! It’s okay, Murphy struck, that’s all,” Hinata answered pleasantly.

“ _Who?_ ” Kenma was confused, but Hinata already walked away.

~

“Whoops, the timing on that one was a liiiittle bit off, but as they say, all’s well that ends well. Karasuno comes away with the point. That was a very unusual play for Karasuno. I haven’t seen many high sets go to Hinata-kun,” Imai-san commented.

“Still, perhaps it was because he got plenty of time for a solid approach? It looked like Hinata-kun jumped higher than I have ever seen him jump before!” Habuka-san replied.

 _Wait, he dared go for a high lob of a set there?! With **Shouyou** , whose big weapon is his **speed?** When he **knew** blockers would catch him?_ Kenma’s thoughts were racing.

As the rally was going, Kenma wanted to see if that fourth tempo set was out of desperation, so he returned the ball right where Shouyou would have to receive it, and Kageyama set another four.

 _I knew it. Those fours **weren’t** desperation. He did them on purpose, and over the middle too! Uh, does he realize he’s walking into a triple block? And unlike a quick set, where he has to match with his hitter, there are a lot of hitters who don’t like hitting really high-arcing sets. Plus Hinata has crazy stats and can keep up with lightning fast quick-sets really easy. Why even bother falling back on a tutorial-level set?! _Kageyama threw Kenma for a loop.

Kenma realized why soon after Shouyou hit the set _from above the block._ More accurately, _directly above Kenma._

 _Wait, Shouyou can actually hit a high-arcing set? His “hang time” in the air would be different, wouldn’t it? The timing’s gonna be harder now…_ in light of these new developments, Kenma was trying desperately to think of how to counter this new attack.

 _Yeah, that’s it, isn’t it? If all your ranged attacks are sealed, and your magic attacks are absorbed, then you just beat them over the head with a regular attack. That’s the only way,_ Kenma figured. Then he whirled around lightning-quick to signal to their coach, but Coach Nekomata was already nodding.

“So close! Kageyama aims right for the sideline, but it goes out,” Imai-san announced.

“Yikes! What an aggressive serve!” Habuka-san commented, “Oh! And there’s the whistle. It seems Nekoma is going to substitute a new player,” he said as Inuoka entered the court in exchange for Kai.

“A tall player, he likely specializes in blocking,” Imai-san said, “With him in the lineup, Nekoma’s _front wall_ has gotten considerably taller.”

“If they put up another four set for Shouyou, make sure you hold back your timing just a little bit. I bet you’re still used to moving fast to pounce on his quick set, but since Shouyou is smaller, he’s going to be in the air a little longer,” Kenma told Tora, Lev, and Inuoka.

_“One monster and another monster.” I know coach said that about the rookie duo, just a while ago, but in my head I was still like, “But he’s still just a club.” I was wrong._

_What will happen next?_ Kenma’s focused has sharpened to a point during the second set. He truly had no idea how this game will end, and from that alone he wanted to draw out the game to see _just_ how interesting it can get.

~

“Heads up on shorty’s fours. You have to watch your timing. Slow it down a tad,” Kuroo said as he got on the court.

“I told them that already,” Kenma told him.

“Oh, really? Well okay then,” Kuroo said, cowed.

A deuce set in at the last leg of the second set, and even if both teams have been trying their hardest since before this particular segment of the set, now it really felt like it was instant game over for whoever will let the ball fall.

 _This is so interesting. Every time we play, Shouyou is always new and different,_ Kenma reflected.

“Yeow! That his was so powerful it sent the defender rolling, but it was _also_ enough to send the ball right back into Nekoma’s back court!” Habuka-san exclaimed.

After countless practice matches, Karasuno has finally won their first ever set against Nekoma.

~

 _Perhaps it’s about time to accept that the end of the dream is coming,_ Coach Nekomata started thinking right at the start of the third set.

“Okay guys! Let’s go out there and win this thing! I’m gonna score 20 points, so you don’t hafta worry about a thing! The rest of you can figure out who scores the other five!” Lev announced.

 _Uh oh, if Haiba-kun gets himself **too** wound up, he could start falling into bad habits…_ the team thought.

“Hey, did you know?” Kuroo started, “There’s a secret to a good workout. Instead of doing just 100 plain old regular sit-ups, they say it’s better if you put on weights and do only ten sit-ups that you can just barely make.”

“What, really?! Then it’s not about doing as many as you possibly can?!” Lev was astounded.

“What’s this crap about?” Yaku said.

“Nope, it means—” Kuroo started to answer.

“Instead of scoring 20 regular points, it’s better to score the one heavy point?” Lev said earnestly. Kuroo nodded at him with the face of a con-man.

“Don’t stand there and like that’s some profound wisdom. Heavy points my butt. Gimme the 20 regular ones,” Yaku contradicted.

Lev started repeating what he just said to anyone who would listen, and the whole team breathed a sigh of relief. _Haiba-kun was back to his normal self,_ they thought.

Tora was being quiet on the side, likely thinking about his line shot that came back to bite the team back in the ass. Kuroo clapped him on the back, startling him.

“Hey. You’re the last person we need getting all grim and serious. Let’s get a little more hyped up, ‘kay?” he said, “Besides, that shot of yours at the end of that last set was _amazing_. When did you practice that?”

“Really! Thanks!” Tora said, also back to his normal self.

Kenma was watching all of this, thinking of how far Kuroo has come. _Shy. Reserved. Quiet. If you asked the team who that described, I bet they would all say me,_ Kenma thought, _I don’t think a single one of them would believe me if I told them that Kuro used to be way worse than I ever was. Heck, I doubt even Kuro remembers himself._

“What?” Kuroo asked him, just noticing his stare.

“Nothing. I was just thinking how you talk a lot,” Kenma answered.

“Dude, where’d that sudden punch to the gut come from?” Kuroo complained.

 _Kuro was so bad with other people that it got **me** talking to other people for him, especially that time we went to see the local volleyball team when he just moved,_ Kenma was remembering, _although that was the day we met coach. It really was just a little thing. Only a quick moment, but even I got the feeling that Kuro would probably remember that day for the rest of his life._

“If you were just some partying-jock type, I never would’ve bothered playing this long with you,” Kenma continued.

“Dude, _ow!_ What’s with the sudden personal attacks, huh?” Kuroo said, clutching at his chest like he was hit.

 _The one thing I would remember though, is that one day I overheard you with my dad. You got them to stop screaming at me, and I don’t even know how many times you did that—getting them to back off. You never told me about it, acting like things were normal when it wasn’t; you were just being the best friend you could be for me,_ Kenma was reflecting.

“Yeah, I don’t want to exercise so hard that I run out of breath or work up a sweat if I can avoid it. Yeah, there are times I want to play video games instead of volleyball. Heck, I’m starting to think I like _watching_ volleyball more than playing it,” Kenma said out loud, finally figuring out what he wanted to do.

“But, it’s not a bad feeling to stand up and think, ‘welp, time to get to it,’” Kenma finished.

“Eesh, Everybody’s gotta be their own kind crazy, huh?” Kuroo was tired, but he was also calmed—exactly what Kenma was aiming for.

“We’ve struggled and toughed it through all the hard times,” Kuroo started for their huddle, “Now it’s time to enjoy our rewards!”

The whole team raved.

~

“Y’know how you’re known for your super tenacious and super persistent blocking and just how much it ticks everybody off, right? Well, seeing how successful you are at it, I can’t help but think ‘Thank God, I wasn’t wrong,’” Kuroo taunted Tsukishima from across the net.

 _Even with his taunting it looked like he was praising Tsukki,_ Kenma thought, watching, _he’s such a mushy nerd._

~

 _I can’t let myself get carried away in the excitement. I have to keep my eyes open. Stay alert, stay focused,_ Kenma kept thinking to himself.

It was the third set and both teams have been falling more and more into rhythm, into concentration. With every play, Kenma kept getting excited for more, and with the exhaustion catching up to him, he can feel himself start slipping.

~

“Y’know, Chibi-chan’s gonna be dead serious this time. He’ll be out to beat you for real,” Kuroo said to Kenma last night as they we’re getting ready for bed.

“Duh? It’s nationals. If he wants to win, of course he’s going to try for real,” Kenma responded.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m saying he’ll be coming for you,” Kuroo clarified.

“I don’t get it,” Kenma replied, and the conversation shifted.

As Kenma received a spike from Hinata, he was reminded of something Tora told him back during the golden week training camp.

“Y’know, there’s this really weird vibe between you two,” Tora said, indicating Hinata, “Mebbe it’s because you’re rivals?”

“Huh? No. We’re just normal friends,” Kenma answered, going back to his game.

Now as he slammed the ball down on an already kneeling Shouyou, he could see why they would think that. Somewhere between the second and third set, though, Kenma’s motivations had completely changed. He realized Hinata would _always_ be interesting, and as much as he tried to cage him in, he couldn’t. it was good news to him, really—knowing one of the most interesting people he’s known wouldn’t be changing anytime soon—but now he wanted to do right by ~~Kuro~~ his team and help them win this game, even if he himself didn’t care one way or another who wins.

Hinata retaliated with a feint dink turned into a long spike at Kenma, scoring. After the save he tried and failed to do, Kenma promptly plopped down right there on the court, panting.

“Kenma! Are you okay?! Did you get hurt?!” Kuroo ran toward him, obviously concerned.

“That was fun,” Kenma said, smiling at the floor, lacking the energy to even lift his head.

Everyone on the court heard, and two things happened: Hinata remembered what he said to Kenma during that first practice match, and he celebrated now, hearing something other than “it was okay, I guess,” from Kenma; and Kuroo looked almost ready to cry, guilt seeping out of body, remembering what he told Yaku the other night.

Kuroo never heard Kenma talk about volleyball that way before, and he was _relieved,_ to say the least, that Kenma was at least having fun now, even if he would go back to his apathetic ways after this moment. _Remember this_ , something inside him whispered.

~

As the set went on into the 20s, Kenma found himself going out of focus more and more.

 _I think now I can finally guess what Shouyou’s thinking,_ Kenma thought, _Fighting that last battle, controlling my party of high-level heroes, I always find myself thinking the same contradictory thought as I attack a final boss. **Please don’t die yet.**_ **_Not yet. Not yet._**

~

Karasuno is at set and game point, and both teams were just going all out with the ball. Lev collided with Kenma, knocking him aside as they managed to block the ball.

“Ack! Kenma-san!” Lev shouted, looking back at him.

“Idiot! Forget me! The ball hasn’t hit the ball yet!” Kenma shouted back, focused on the game.

Lev and Kuroo straightened up at that—Kenma screaming never failed to intimidate them.

 _I hurt. I’m exhausted. **I don’t ever want it to end,**_ Kenma was thinking now as he got back into the rally.

~

“Was that because of the sweat…?” Imai-san asked after a beat of silence.

“Yes, that was likely because the ball was sweaty,” Habuka-san answered solemnly, “During a rally, especially the long rallies of this game, many different players touch the ball and their sweat can make it slippery,” he explained.

And just like that, the game was over. Kuroo slumped down on his back right where stood, then sat up just as quickly, looking worn out to the core. Kenma followed his example.

“Haaaa…” he said disbelievingly.

“You know, no matter which of us lost, or which of us won, no one was going to die. No one’s coming back to life, either. Evil won’t flourish across the land. The world won’t be destroyed. It isn’t like we had a grand adventure across a sprawling fantasy world… We just ran around in circles in a rectangle 18 meters long and 9 meters wide trying desperately hard to make a ball hit the floor in one spot and not hit the floor in another spot,” Kenma rambled, “ ** _And it was the most fun I’ve had in my life,”_** he said, sprawling on the floor, limbs out.

“What a game, folks! What a game! At the end of the long, intense and exhilarating rallies, it’s Karasuno who emerges the victor!” Imai-san announced.

“Hey, Kuro,” Kenma sat up, “Thank you, for getting me into volleyball,” he said with a wide genuine smile at his best friend, “I like it.”

“Huh? Oh, uh…sure,” Kuroo looked like he short-circuited. Kai and Yaku started laughing at him. After a moment it looked like he got his bearings back, screaming, “Whoa, whoa whoa! Hold on! Back up! Back! It! Up!”

“Huh? Why are you so mad?” Kenma asked, as if he didn’t just rock the foundations of Kuroo’s world.

~

After all the after-game customs, both teams headed off to their respective meetings.

“All right. Setting aside any specific points of critique at the moment, first let me say one thing. That was a wonderful game. Thank you,” Coach Nekomata said with a happy smile,

The team bowed to him, screaming the same sentiments. Yaku broke down, and Kuroo looked like he could cry anytime.

~

“Let’s do that again,” Kageyama told Kenma after their huddles.

“Huh?” Kenma was taken aback.

“Hey! I was just gonna say that!” Hinata interrupted.

“Hrm? Who cares? Not my problem,” Kageyma told him, turning away.

“Hey Kenma!” Hinata said, “Let’s do this all again next year!”

“Yeah. Let’s,” Kenma replied, having finally understood what the two were saying.

“Ugh! There you go again, planning games like a buncha neighborhood kids deciding whose house they’re playing at tomorrow,” Kuroo interrupted, hands on his hips.

“Just ignore him,” Kenma said with a wave of his fingers, walking away, dragging the two with him.

“So that’s it then, huh? We’re done. Man, it just doesn’t feel real, y’know?” Yaku said to Kuroo and Kai.

“It may be over, but personally, I’m very glad I got to spend the last three years with you, Yaku, Kuroo,” Kai said to them pleasantly, if a bit tired.

That did it for Kuroo, and he finally cried.

“Geez , Kai! Don’t do that to a guy! Seriously!” Yaku said, crying again.

“Ugh, dammit! Why’s everyone gotta do that to me, huh?!” Kuroo screamed into his hands, covering his whole face as he teared up.

~

 _Yeah, it’s over. But at the same time, it’s not over yet,_ Kuroo thought, looking over at Kenma, then at the court where Fukurodani was playing.

Soon they win against Matsuyama Nishi Biz, and Bokuto greeted Daichi and Kuroo. The three teams started catching up with each other, talking about their respective matches.

“I noticed your game went on for a very, very long time,” Semi told Kenma.

“Yeah, like every time I looked over you guys were in the middle of some stupidly long rally,” Konoha added.

“You’re telling me. I wanna sleep,” Kenma grumbled at the two of them.

“I saw you putting in a lot of effort too, Tsukishima. You were really flying,” Semi told the taller when he saw him.

“huh? Erm… well,” Tsukishima answered him, flustered, “Anyway, I see you won in straight sets again. I guess that’s only to be expected,” he added, shifting the conversation.

“Bokuto-san looks to be in good form,” Kenma commented.

“Yes, he is doing quite well. Better than I’ve ever seen him, actually,” Semi replied.

“Ugh. And you guys have _another_ game to play today, Shouyou,” Kenma told him when he joined their conversation.

“Yeah, isn’t it great?” Hinata asked him.

“…” Kenma didn’t say anything, but his sickened expression already said volumes.

“Well, yeah bruh. Today’s day 3… _Hell day,_ ” Tanaka butted in.

“What? Hell day?” Hinata questioned.

“Yep, for most of nationals, you only play one game a day, but on day 3, they cram in both round 3 _and_ the quarterfinals,” Semi explained tiredly, “Right when you’re starting to wear out from two days of intense playing, they throw back-to-back games at you. It’s the roughest day in the schedule, so they call it _hell day._ ”

“Wow that’s so cool,” Hinata exclaimed.

“Is it? I always thought it sounded a bit violent,” Semi said.

“They probably call it that because it’s the sort of name that resonates with the kids,” Tsukishima said laughingly.

“Dammit Tsukishima! That was uncalled for!” Tanaka scolded him.

“Uh, I meant Hinata,” Tsukishima replied.

“Two nationals-level game on the same day. It’s insane,” Kenma complained.

“I agree,” Tsukishima nodded.

“So who do you play next?” Kenma asked Semi.

“Us? We’re up against—” Semi started.

“Yo! Kiryuu!” Bokuto screamed at the passing team, “Dude! We get to play each other next! I’ve been super stoked to play you, like, for the whole tournament! Well, I’m super stoked to play Karasuno and Itachiyama too…” He started rambling at Kiryuu Wakatsu of Mujinazaka.

“So it’s one of the top three aces in the nation against one of the top five,” Kuroo said to Daichi.

“I am going to **_sleep,_** ” Daichi replied.

“Good. Go sleep,” Kuroo said with a laugh.

Nekoma went on their own way to cooldown and rest before the second games of the day started.

~

“Oh the game just ended on court B. Karasuno’s game is gonna start soon,” Kenma told Kuroo beside him.

“I know, Kenma. I have eyes too,” Kuroo said teasingly. He only received a slap to the stomach in response, already watching the players.

They settled down to watch.

* * *

“Kenma,” Hinata said as he saw him, emotionless.

“Hey. Came to cheer up a friend,” Kenma told him in greeting.

“Kenma… Can you find me a way to watch the game?” Hinata asked him desperately, tears in his eyes.

“Here,” Kenma replied, holding out a tablet, “Brought this for you to borrow,” then he gave it to Hinata, who stared at him intensely, remembering something he thought of the the blonde during the game.

“Do you mind going with me to the hospital?” Hinata asked him.

“Oh… sure, let me just get my stuff…” Kenma went, not noticing Hinata still staring at him with a thoughtful tilt to his head.

~

They were in the waiting room at the hospital, having just watched the end of the Karasuno vs. Kamomedai game. Hinata let out a deep sigh, taking off his mask and staring at nothing; his gaze not at the world around him but seemingly inward, as if he was remembering. Kenma thought this was him reflecting on what led up to his collapse on the court, but he was surprised when Hinata turned his stare at him, looking to have made a decision.

“Gising ka na ba, Anagolay?1 Hinata asked him.

Kenma was confused, not understanding the words. He didn’t even know Hinata spoke another language and he was about to say so, but his mouth failed to shape the words. His head started hurting, and he felt like it was _expanding,_ of all things. It felt like there was a blanket on his consciousness, and it was being lifted, and it was _excruciating._ He was curled up in on himself, eyes shut and clutching at his head, trying to squeeze in his brain.

Behind his eyes the scenes he would sometimes dream flit across at increasing speeds, more vivid than ever. He saw himself in different clothes that looked like he was in different times of history; saw himself in different _forms,_ even. It was all so confusing for his mortal mind, and he felt like he couldn’t take much more of it, but at the end of it all he saw himself kneeling in a clearing, looking all at once young and old—ageless.

The clearing he was in was a place he’d never seen before, and suspected he wouldn’t ever find on this earth if he tried. Lush green hills went on for miles on one side of him and the ocean on the other; on another side were animals at the base of a tall, substantial mountain; it was a scene out of a fairy tale, almost. There were also other beings there, though he couldn’t see their features clearly. Surrounding him were the sounds of life—of people chattering, of the soothing waves from the oceans, of the sounds of wildlife from beyond the mountain. He was in the middle, kneeling, looking so at peace with everyone and everything around him that made present day Kenma envious.

From where the water of the ocean met the earth and mountain rose a being of pure light, and all around him everyone quieted. He bowed as the being walked closer to him, almost prostrating himself. Once the figure was close enough, it touched Kenma’s head, ruffled his hair a bit and a resounding chuckle boomed in the clearing.

“Anagolay, diyos ng mga nawawalang bagay,” it said ceremoniously, as if bestowing a title, “Maligayang pag-uwi,” it added, and Kenma _felt_ it smile.2

Just like that, Kenma was catapulted back to the present. A consciousness he never knew he had snapped into place in his mind, with it the full knowledge of his role as a god. He understood now— _ito ang pag-gising ko._ 3 It made him straighten up in his chair, heaving in deep breaths while looking shell shocked at the recognition of what he was—had been all this time.

“Hmm,” Hinata murmured from next to him, which reminded Kenma who caused his awakening.

“Sino ka at pa’no mo ko nakilala?” Kenma asked, hostile, which made Hinata back up and hold up his hands placatingly.4

“Kalma, ako lang ‘to. ‘Di mo ba ko nakikilala?” Hinata asked, confused.5

“No, I don’t,” Kenma said, switching back to Nihongo again as Yachi came back from where she bought water for all of them.

“I’ll tell you later,” Hinata promised, staring out at nothing again, a furrow between his brows.

~

Kenma was trying to be patient. After all, Hinata _was_ sick.

He was struggling, though. He had a lot of things to ask of the orange-haired boy, first of which were the questions as to why he had a heightened awareness of everything and everyone around him. It was putting him on edge, not knowing what these _inputs_ were and what to do with them. It was making him jittery, a fact which Kuroo noticed.

“Are you alright? You’ve been jumpy since you got back from the hospital,” Kuroo told him while they were eating.

“Mhm, just really tired. I think I’m gonna get a fever, Kuro,” Kenma said the first excuse he could think up.

Kuroo reached out to feel at Kenma’s forehead, and the touch made Kenma wince. Even _that_ was heightened, the skin to skin contact almost painful. 

“Well, you do feel warm. Want me to cuddle you later?” Kuroo asked teasingly, and Kenma didn’t even bother to reply, only clicking his tongue at the taller in irritation.

After dinner he was blowing up Hinata’s phone, asking where he was staying and if they could meet up before Karasuno went back to Miyagi. He was getting more anxious, and at his 13th text he finally received a reply.

 **Me:**  
Shouyou, at least answer my texts  
I have questions  
You promised to answer them  
_sent 10:05pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
i’m gonna answer relax  
where are you  
i’ll come to you  
like, right now  
make sure you’re alone  
_received 10:08pm_

 **Me:**  
okay???  
we’re at the Chofu Urban Hotel  
I’ll wait at the entrance for you  
_sent 10:10pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
are you all alone  
_received 10:10pm_

 **Me:**  
I’m downstairs now  
Yeah I’m all alone  
_sent 10:12pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
are you sure  
like all alone  
not only your team, but like, other people  
_received 10:14pm_

 **Me:**  
YES  
Nobody is around  
_sent 10:13pm_

Kenma was annoyed with how stubborn Hinata was being, but he still looked around him to answer in the affirmative. It was cold during this time of year and Kenma was already feeling it even when he was bundled up in a coat, hat, and scarf. He was wondering why he had to be completely alone for—

“Kenma!” Hinata whispered next to him, appearing with his hands in the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing.

Kenma didn’t jump out of his skin like Hinata was expecting going by his pout and muttered “Awwww,” when all Kenma did was stare at him, but he _was_ surprised and a little bit afraid.

“I told you there was nobody here, how—” Kenma started.

“Alam mo na kung ano ka,” Hinata interrupted with a question, although it didn’t sound like a question.6

“…Oo,” Kenma answered hesitantly, looking out contemplatively into the night.7

“Pero ‘di mo ko kilala?” Hinata asked again with a tilt to his forehead, focusing on Kenma’s face.8

“Tatanungin ko ba kung alam ko?” Kenma answered sarcastically.9

“May iba ka pa bang naalala maliban dun sa simula?” Hinata asked again, which gave Kenma a pause.10

He remembered seeing scenes when he was in the hospital, especially that light being, but he realized now since he saw those clear images behind his eyes that he’s completely forgotten it all, even the scenes from his childhood that he now knew were part of his history. He’d been too preoccupied with Hinata to think about what he saw.

“Hindi… Bakit gan’to? May nakita ako kanina nung ginising mo ko, pero ngayon wala na kong maalala,” Kenma answered, frustrated.11

“Ahh, gets ko na,” Hinata said, nodding, looking like he just solved a puzzle.12

“Ano? Ano yun?” Kenma looked back at him, eager to know more, but then he took in what his friend was wearing and remembered that Hinata was supposed to be sick, “Hindi ka ba linalamig?”13

“I guess it’s different for every god,” Hinata sighed, “‘Yung iba ‘pag nagigising, naaalala na nila lahat ng buhay nila, alam na nila kung pa’no gamitin ‘yung mga kakayahan nila… halimbawa na ‘ko dun,”—he gestured to himself—“I can transport myself in a blink if I know where I’m going, and I can heal myself no problem,” he explained.14

“Teka, kung kaya mo naman pala pagalingin sarili mo, bakit ‘di mo ginawa kanina?” Kenma asked, taking in stride everything Hinata just said. He _had_ already seen the transportation happen, anyway.15

“We try to live out these lives we’ve been given as close to mortal as we can, Anagolay, and that includes all the foibles of man,” Hinata said solemnly.

“Kung gano’n, ano pang punto ng pagiging diyos?” Kenma asked bitterly.16

“I said _try._ We’re still gods, and there’s a point to being a god,” Hinata laughed at him, then offered out his hand, “Apolaki, diyos ng araw at tagataguyod ng mga mandirigma,” he introduced himself.17

“What’s the point of being the god of the sun, then?” Kenma challenged him.

“I embody the sun, of course. Nanggaling ako sa paniniwala ng tao natin na ang araw ay nagbibigay buhay, at ‘yun and ginagawa ko saan man ako mapunta sa panahon. I became the patron god of warriors because of what happened in one of my lifetimes, all thanks to you,” Hinata beamed at him.18

“M-Me?” Kenma asked, startled.

“Which answers your question, right? We knew each other then, I don’t know what lifetime it was for you, but it was maybe my fifth? sixth?,” Hinata said.

“Bakit hindi ko maalala?” Kenma asked again.19

“Like I said, iba iba tayo. May nakilala nga ako na diyos na namamatay, ta’s bumabalik ulit s’ya sa susunod na buhay na gising. Pero ikaw ‘yung unang diyos na nakilala kong ‘di maalala yung dati n’yang mga buhay. It is what it is,” Hinata answered with a shrug.20

“What about the abilities then? Kanina pa ko ninenerbyos sa mga nakikita’t nararamdaman ko. Di ko maintindihan,” Kenma asked, letting Hinata see some of the distress he’d been feeling from when he got back from the hospital.21

“This is why remembering your past lives is important. Pag-gising mo, may ideya ka na kung anong gagawin mo, although your title can also help,” Hinata said, “Diyos ka ng mga nawawalang bagay, ‘di ba?” he asked, thoughtful.22

“Yeah. Any advice?” Kenma asked.

“Pwede kong ipakita sa’yo pa’no ako naging tagataguyod ng mga mandirigma,” Hinata offered, “Pero kailangan natin iwanan ‘tong buhay na ‘to. Tingin ko mas katulad yon sa mga nawawalang bagay kesa sa araw,” he added with an embarrassed smile.23

“Bakit? Tsaka pa’nong ‘iwanan’?” Kenma was confused.24

“Well, to put it simply, I’ll go back in time to that lifetime with you. We’re gonna leave this life, disappear, fake our deaths, that kind of thing,” Hinata said with a wave of his hand.

“What, like _vampires?_ That actually happens?” Kenma scoffed.

“Vampires aren’t real. Other gods just perpetuated that myth,” Hinata grinned at him at that, amused at Kenma’s bewildered face.

“Let’s do it then,” Kenma said, going with the first option he was given to figure out how to live the life of a god.

“Teka, pagisipan mo muna. ‘Di madaling umalis sa isang buhay basta basta, pwera na lang kung magpapapatay ka,” Hinata jokingly told him, “Tsaka kailangan mo din pagisipan kung _pa’no_ ka aalis. You’re never alone in a life, and you have to think about those people you’re with,” Hinata turned serious at the last part.25

“Kenma? Why are you standing out there in the cold?” Kuroo’s voice carried from inside the building, “Chibi-chan? Why are you here? Aren’t you sick?” he added.

“Kuroo-san! Hi! I just had a few questions for Kenma here, since we’re gonna be going home tomorrow. I couldn’t sleep unless I did,” Hinata offered as an explanation, hand scratching at the back of his neck with an embarrassed smile, “Anyway, I’ll be going now! Goodnight!” he shot Kenma one last look, tilting his head towards Kuroo, and then ran into the night.

“Get in here, Kenma, before you completely get sick,” Kuroo told him, never minding the little orange head's odd behavior in favor of fussing over Kenma. Kenma just quietly complied, having too much on his mind to brush off Kuroo’s fussing.

 _You’re never alone in a life, and you have to think about those people you’re with,_ Hinata’s words were the loudest in his mind. He actually didn’t have that many people in this life and he gladly would’ve left that night, but Hinata’s warning, plus Kuroo’s appearance, made him second guess. He didn’t feel all that different, all things considered, but he can tell that the abilities—and the senses that came with them—would just grow. He _needed_ to know how to get them under control, and Hinata was the only person who could help him.

But.

Kenma kept thinking _but,_ and he couldn’t stop thinking about Kuroo. He was actually the only one who held Kenma back from faking his own death. Then he remembered another thing Hinata told him— _A god who died in every life and reincarnated back to another life, awake._

 **Me:**  
Shouyou  
How do I know I won’t die in this life too  
_sent 12:36am_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
you don’t  
or well  
i don’t know  
you were a girl when we met  
but i’m not sure if that’s because you reincarnated  
or  
if you can change form  
_received 12:38am_

 **Me:**  
What  
I was a girl?????  
_sent 12:39am_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
yep  
you can try that, actually  
to change, i mean  
so we can see if you’re gonna reincarnate  
_received 12:40am_  
  
although,,,,  
you can technically reincarnate AND change form  
so  
that’s not really something to base your decisions on for now  
_received 12:42am_

 **Me:**  
You’re not helping  
_sent 12:43am_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
relax, Kenma  
we have all the time in the world, now  
now let me sleep  
i’m supposed to be sick, remember?  
_received 12:47am_

Kenma sighed, dropping his phone next to his head. He turned to face Kuroo, staring at his friend’s face and wondering what would happen if he disappeared right now. He had his dad, of course, who was only slightly less worse than Kenma’s parents. He had his grandparents who still doted on him. He had their other friends, and he had volleyball. Kuroo had a lot of things going for him in his life, and even if he _would_ be hurt by Kenma disappearing, Kenma thought he would recover from it.

 **Me:**  
I’m gonna stay in this life for a bit.  
A few years, maybe  
Don’t disappear before then  
I still need you  
_sent 01:04am_

Kuroo had a lot of people in his life, true, but what made the decision to stay for Kenma was the realization that while he had friends, no one was more prominent than Kuroo, and he wasn’t ready to leave his friend yet. Once the decision was made, he fell asleep, thinking that all the other things bothering him wouldn’t be as bad as living a life without Kuroo in it.

~

Kenma continued on like normal, learning how to get used to the new senses he had gained from that afternoon with Hinata and not really exploring the abilities he _may_ have. He figured out that one of the senses was almost like a god-detector, and he only ever felt it ring in his head whenever Hinata was around—which explained how Hinata found him; the orange head told him every god he met has that sense. Another one was triggered by close proximity of what he assumed were things and people under his watch, which he started calling _the Lost._ He had no idea what to do beyond that, so he settled with identifying each and every one he came across. A lot of animals found him, from cats to dogs to birds to lizards and even insects one time when Nekoma went on a trekking trip before the third years graduated. The animals were easier to guide, and a short time afterward it became second nature to Kenma.

The people were trickier; the first person he felt to be Lost was Lev—which made sense to Kenma. Even before he was awakened, he was intrigued by him and he just now realized it was because of the latent senses. Throughout his last year of high school, Kenma tried to help Lev as much as he could, still not knowing exactly _how_ to help but feeling like he just had to do _something_ for the taller. That was when he discovered one passive ability he had—entirely coincidental too.

~

“It looks like your pet Lev is doing well,” Kuroo commented. He was visiting to watch a practice match Nekoma had that day—something Kenma invited him to.

“Will you please stop calling him that, Kuro?” Kenma said beside him, subbing in Teshiro for him to catch up with the older.

“Well, you had a lot more headway with him than I did, anyway,” Kuroo said dismissively, “and can you blame me? He acts like a pet to you. It’s cute, like one of your lost kittens,” he added.

“Lev’s a _person._ If you’re just gonna come here to insult my club members I’m not gonna tell you when practice matches are anymore,” Kenma threatened him.

“Oh ho ho, what’s this? _Your_ club members? Never known you for being a mother hen, Kenma,” Kuroo teased him. Kenma just clicked his tongue at him, not deigning that with a reply.

“It’s nice on you, you know. I knew I wasn’t wrong for choosing you to be the next captain. You’re growing into your own,” Kuroo went on.

“Now who’s the mother hen?” Kenma shot back, “Besides, it was honestly easier to whip these new first years into shape more than Teshiro’s batch,” Kenma said.

“So is he gonna be the next captain then?” Kuroo questioned, to which Kenma only nodded, eyes on the match.

“What’s next for you then? After high school? Think you’ll still play?” Kuroo asked after a while of companionable silence.

“Hell no. I’m done with playing, thank you very much,” Kenma answered with a scowl that made Kuroo laugh out loud. This wasn’t the first time he poked at Kenma to continue volleyball.

“I figured as much. So what are you actually planning?” Kuroo asked again.

“Computer Science. Or graphics. Or game development. Just, along those lines. How about you? Liking your fancy political science course?” Kenma said.

“Yep. Although I miss volleyball too. Mind playing with me after they finish?” Kuroo answered, looking down at the shorter.

“Why do you think I subbed Teshiro in?” Kenma shot back.

~

“Kuroo-san, thanks for the onigiris!” Lev screamed beside him. Kuroo had forgotten how loud he can be.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it,” Kuroo waved him off.

“Kenma-san! The inter-high is in two weeks! What are you gonna do after that? Will you still stay on for the spring nationals?” Lev turned to Kenma. The other members of the club also looked at him, curious since he hasn’t said anything about his plans after the tournaments.

“Depends on how the inter-high goes. I’ll definitely watch Shouyou at the spring nationals, though,” Kenma answered him, focused on his phone.

“Awwww how about us? Won’t you watch your precious kouhais too, Kenma-san?” Lev pouted at him.

“If you get to play against him,” Kenma said absent-mindedly, making Kuroo snicker.

“See? He’s like an overexcited pet dog just seeing you again,” Kuroo whispered to him jokingly.

“Shut up, Kuro,” Kenma muttered.

“Hey Lev! Why do you act like a pet to your dear captain here?” Kuroo shouted back at Lev, blocking Kenma’s jab at his stomach. Lev blinked at them, feeling like he was missing out on something.

“Huh?” Lev said to them both.

“You act like you’re always happy to see him, like a puppy,” Kuroo explained, that troublemaking grin of his on full display.

“Kuro, quit it, I’m serious,” Kenma scolded, feeling Lev’s confusion acutely.

“I don’t know about the dog part, but Kenma-san’s just great to be around. He usually lets me be and only scolds me when I’m too loud, plus he… feels like home, if that makes sense?” Lev contemplated, and this time it was Kuroo blinking at him.

Kenma froze for a second, then looked up from his phone and stared at Lev, trying to make sense of what feelings he was getting from Lev. Embarrassment was there, and bitterness at Kuroo for calling him a dog, maybe, but by now Kenma was more adept with reading emotions; he was discerning something else, something deeper in the half-Russian: when Lev talked about him, he felt the taller’s comfort in _him._ He’s noticed this effect he had on animals, but this was the first time a person felt that way when he was close. Usually nothing happens when he got close to another Lost—he just feels lost himself, out of depth, still clueless how to relieve that particular person of their confusion with life.

 _Huh, guess I need to get closer to Lost ones? To help? Do I need to stay by their side? Is with me the only way they'll feel okay? People are so complicated,_ Kenma was working himself up with this line of thinking.

“Ah, Kenma does have that effect on people. That happened to me too, when we were kids, but now he’s just a big pain in the ass. You’ll get over it soon,” Kuroo patted Lev on the shoulder, and the second year just frowned at him. Kenma didn't hear, still deep in thought.

“I’m gonna get going, then! See you tomorrow Kenma-san!” Lev waved at them both, and Kenma watched him leave, then turned to Kuroo.

“You made him uncomfortable,” He accused, further irritated by everything going on in his mind.

“I didn’t know he’d get touchy-feely!” Kuroo defended himself.

“Just stop stirring up trouble with people, it makes you look like a jerk,” Kenma told him, going back on his phone to talk to Hinata.

“Fine, fine,” Kuroo acquiesced. They went home after that, parting at the train station where Kuroo moved to the dorms of his university, only going home on weekends to see his family and Kenma.

The revelation with Lev was still fresh in his mind and he kept turning it over and over, running simulations of situations for the Lost to be... well, _found._ Kenma thought that that was his ultimate goal as their god, but couldn't be sure until he knew more. He was getting adept with his senses, and he was discovering abilities more and more, only fueling his need to learn his history.

 **Me:**  
I found something out today  
_sent 04:37pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
what is it  
_received 04:40pm_

 **Me:**  
apparently I’m comforting for the Lost  
_sent 04:41pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
huh  
who told you that  
_received 04:43pm_

 **Me:**  
Lev  
_sent 04:45pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
huh  
well then there you have it, i guess?  
a passive ability  
i’ve been told i’m a ball of sunshine too many times to count across the centuries so  
_received 04:46pm_

 **Me:**  
prepare to disappear  
after highschool, I mean  
I’ll take a gap year so I don’t have anything to do and then we’ll disappear  
_sent 04:48pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
sure thing  
_received 04:50pm_

Kenma couldn't wait a few years like he initially told Hinata, and started pulling away from everyone after the inter-high, which had the opposite of the effect he expected it to. Everyone wanted to keep in touch, and he had to suffer through multiple interventions from his friends.

 **Me:**  
Kuro wants to talk to me again  
how do you do this disappearing thing  
_sent 02:12pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
lmao  
you disappear  
break it off cleanly with everyone  
or just,,,, disappear without a word  
_received 02:15pm_

 **Me:**  
how many times have you done this for you to just laugh  
_sent 02:17pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
enough  
_received 02:19pm_  
  
it always hurts, Kenma  
sometimes you have to be cruel for everyone to let you go  
I hate doing it too  
you sure you don’t want to stick around?  
_received 02:19pm_

Kenma was tempted to stay, but he was also more and more frustrated as the time went by, encountering more Lost and feeling so useless as their god. He _had_ to know how what it meant to be the god of lost things, if only to quiet the bitterness he felt every time he can’t help.

 **Me:**  
I’m sure  
it’s time  
_sent 02:23pm_

 **Shouyou Hinata:**  
okay then  
_received 02:25pm_

~

Kenma moved out of his parent's house and he asked Hinata for places he knew Kenma could stay at. In the months since he's graduated, he's learned he no longer needed to eat or sleep, and he worked part-time as a bartender to wait for Hinata to graduate. He saved up fairly quickly that way, finally affording a nice apartment for himself. His friends finally gave up on him save Kuroo, but he thought he could get away with never seeing the taller again, content with fading away from his life. He was as surprised as he was scared when Kuroo came knocking.

“Kenma, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting off lately,” Kuroo asked him, “And the guys tell me they haven’t seen you in weeks! I had to ask around for your new address too,” he added, concern plain to hear in his voice.

“I’m fine, Kuroo,” Kenma said, tired with the questions. He was dreading what he had to do next, remembering Hinata's words— _sometimes you have to be cruel for everyone to let you go._

“You’ve been avoiding your friends, your parents tell me they haven’t heard from you in longer than that, and you’ve been nothing but bored when you talk to me, _if_ I could get you to talk to me. That doesn’t sound fine to me, Kenma. You’re acting so much worse when we were kids!” Kuroo exploded, frustrated with him.

“Why are you thinking so hard about this? Can’t you take a hint? Maybe I _am_ bored with you, Kuroo,” Kenma shot back, angrier than he’d ever shown anyone—but not at Kuroo, not that the taller needed to know that.

“W-what?” Kuroo was taken aback, shocked.

“What? Turned deaf now too? **_You’re boring to me_** ,” Kenma enunciated in his face, feeling each word drive into him and Kuroo both, “And I’ve just been trying to drop you politely, but you haven’t taken the hint! Everyone else has, so what’s with you, huh? Feeling special, just because you got to call me your best friend for the past 10 years?” Kenma finished, breathing hard.

Kuroo was quiet, and for the first time ever he felt Kuroo to be Lost, pain and grief and anger coalescing into such desolation it was gaping hole in Kuroo's chest; doubling the agony Kenma could already feel in his.

“If that’s the way you want it,” Kuroo said quietly, letting Kenma see his face—the shine to his eyes, the tremble of his lips, the way his shoulders hunched in on themselves as if as if he was under a crushing weight, “I’m sorry I bothered with you,” he said in lieu of goodbye, then left Kenma’s place.

He never heard from him again.

~

“Sigurado ka na ba talaga dito?”26 Hinata asked him when he saw him. It was another 4 months after that confrontation with Kuroo, and Kenma practically begged Hinata to disappear as soon as he graduated. He spent that time trying to distract himself, filling the apartment he had with lost animals, setting up a shelter and leaving it behind to an employee. Now Kenma was here, and he was surprised at Hinata’s appearance, hair and eyebrows dyed black, but he couldn’t be bothered to ask about it.

“Oo, kailangan ko na matuto,” Kenma answered shortly, looking at anything but his friend.27

“Kamusta ka naman?” Hinata asked again, seeing the gaunt look in his eyes he knew too well.28

“Buhay pa,” Kenma said dismissively, “Eh ikaw?”29 he asked, looking at his friend when his expression ignited a pain so deep in Hinata it cut through Kenma's apathy. This was a wound centuries old, he realized. Kenma didn't know just how many times the other has done this, but up until now he had no idea what it _took._ He started seeing Hinata in a different light, his respect growing deeper still as well as his admiration at the strength the other had to go through this and still be the sun god.

“Heh, pareho lang tayo. Mas sanay lang ako sayo,” Hinata said with a shrug.30

“So pa’no natin gagawin to?”31 Kenma asked, trying to be distracting, looking around at the place Hinata told them to meet. It was a clearing not unlike from his only memory of the past, only there was no ocean. It was a poor comparison to be sure, but it was similar enough to call to mind _home._

“Sa totoo lang, kaya ko to gawin kahit saan, pero naisip ko makakatulong ‘tong lugar na to sa’yo,” Hinata told him with a grin.32

“Anong pinagsasasabi mo?” Kenma asked him sharply.33

“‘Di ako pwedeng magdala ng ibang tao kapag lilipat ako ng panahon, ‘yung diyos ng oras lang pwede gumawa nun,” Hinata confessed.34

“Ang ibig mong sabihin may portunang ‘di ‘to gagana?!” Kenma asked him, “Sinaktan ko lahat ng tao sa buhay ko para dito!” he added, his voice cracking on the last word.35

“Excuse me, ginawa ko din ‘yun no. Ikaw ‘tong ginustong umalis, kaya wag mo ‘ko sisihin.36 Besides, I know gods who can’t time travel, but they’re usually the reincarnating kind, and tied to something, not like us. I’m pretty sure you can,” Hinata explained, being very understanding of his friend's coarse attitude.

“Okay? So pa’no nga?” Kenma asked again, irritated.37

“Concentrate. Remember that first memory, that’s where we draw all our abilities from. Let time flow through you, and since you don’t know where you’re going, follow my energy,” Hinata instructed, demonstrating time flow with his self, flickering before Kenma in forms of Hinata as a kid, as he was now, and as an old man. Kenma closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of time going through his friend, remembering that first clearing and summoning time from it, letting the feeling wash over him as well. After a while he could feel himself changing.

“Ayan! Ganyan,” Hinata told him with a grin.38

“Di naman tayo umalis sa panahong ‘to,” Kenma pointed out, opening his eyes to look around them.39

“Susunod na ‘yon.40 Now you know what time feels like, you have to move through it. We’re gonna go backwards, but once you know how to move you’ll be able to move forward too,” Hinata instructed, “Let’s start easy. Go back to this same place, but a day earlier. I’m gonna go first, so you have to listen closely. I’ll go back here if you don’t follow me after 10 minutes, okay?”

“Okay okay, go,” Kenma told him, closing his eyes again and concentrating more, his senses tuned in to the way Hinata let time flow through him, then taking control, pinpointing where the threads of the past were and choosing the thread that was similar to the now, only going back a day. Kenma could feel Hinata pulling away, his physical form disappearing until all Kenma could feel were echoes of the sun god’s energy.

Kenma tried to imitate what Hinata did, first channeling time through himself, getting used to the feeling of it flowing through him, before taking control of the flow and directing it to his surroundings instead. He was suddenly aware of stillness around him unlike anything he's felt before, and he opened his eyes, realizing he was _outside_ time, being presented by threads upon threads of time and places he could go to. It took him a while to find the one Hinata took, tracing his fast-disappearing remnants, before taking a deep breath and stepping into the thread, watching the passing of time around him until he could approximate a day, and stepped out.

“Hey, you made it! I was getting worried,” Hinata greeted him.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Kenma replied, doubling over and dry heaving.

“Yeah the vertigo is something that takes getting used to,” Hinata told him, “We’ll take it slow. We’re gonna go across places too,” he added.

“Ugh,” Kenma scowled at him, staying bent over for a few minutes, making sure he wasn't going to puke.

“Okay, now this time we’re going week back, and we’re heading south, about a mile from here. Follow me!” Hinata told him with a grin before disappearing.

This time when he was outside of time following Hinata, he could sense him going _across_ the threads. Each time he crossed one, he could feel a resistance. Finally he spotted the point where Hinata stepped out and did the same, collapsing on his knees in a parking lot.

“Mas mabilis ka na, pero ayos ka lang ba?” Hinata asked him.41

“Parang may pumipigil sa’kin bawat tatawid ako ng isang hibla,” Kenma gasped out.42

“Ahh ayon. Nakalimutan ko ‘yun, pasensya na. Nasanay na ko eh, di ko na pansin. Masasanay ka din,” Hinata told him, “mag pahinga na muna tayo dito,” he added.43

The parking lot was in front of a mall, and Hinata took Kenma to eat and drink depsite Kenma protests that he didn't need to.

"Just because we don't have to eat means we shouldn't. Besides, this is delicious," Hinata told him, offering his crab sticks that Kenma begrudgingly ate.

"I don't have money on me," Kenma told him, but Hinata waved him off. He was wearing pants that had a lot of pockets he used stored to things in, and he explained that they can't bring anything that's not on their body through time, so he made do with clothes that could hold a lot of things.

“Electronics don’t work if you take them out of the thread they’re in, but money is fine if you’re still in the same currency. Pens and necklaces and other solitary things you can store in pockets are also good, but just don’t leave anything anachronistic,” he explained, pulling the collar of his shirt down to show a simple silver necklace in the shape of an island. Kenma just nodded along, absorbing this impromptu lesson on time travel.

~

They went like that, going back further and farther as Kenma got used to travelling, taking breaks whenever he was too nauseated for another thread jump. In every place they went Hinata was as outgoing as he was when he first met Kenma, charming people and making it easy for them to just show up and disappear on a whim.

After their longest and farthest jump yet, they finally arrived on the edges of a forest. The weather was stifling hot; the sun beating down on them even between the branches of trees above them. Kenma took a few minutes to breathe, nausea still present but manageable now, before looking around.

“Asan na tayo?” he asked Hinata who had already taken off his shirt.44

“Welcome to pre-colonial Pangasinan, where I became the patron god of warriors,” he answered with a grin.

* * *

Translations:  
  
"Are you awake now, Anagolay?" (back to text.)  
  
"Anagolay, god of lost things," it said ceremoniously, as if bestowing a title, “Welcome home,” (back to text.)  
  
This was my awakening. (back to text.)  
  
“Who are you and how did you know me?” (back to text.)  
  
“Calm down, it’s just me. Don’t you recognize me?” (back to text.)  
  
“You know what you are now,” (back to text.)  
  
“…Yes,” (back to text.)  
  
“But you don’t know me?” (back to text.)  
  
“Would I ask if I knew?” (back to text.)  
  
“Can you remember anything else other than that beginning?” (back to text.)  
  
“No… why is it like this? I saw some things when you woke me up, but now I can’t remember anything,”  (back to text.)  
  
“Ahh, now I get it,” (back to text.)  
  
“What? What is it?” Kenma looked back at him, eager to know more, but then he took in what his friend was wearing and remembered Hinata was supposed to be sick, “Aren’t you cold?” (back to text.)  
  
“I guess it’s different for every god,” Hinata sighed, “When they wake up, some gods already remember their past lives, and they already know how to use their abilities… me for example,”—he gestured to himself—“I can transport myself in a blink if I know where I’m going, and I can heal myself no problem,” he explained. (back to text.)  
  
“Wait, if you can heal yourself, why didn’t you do it right away?” (back to text.)  
  
“What’s the point of being a god then?” (back to text.)  
  
“Apolaki, god of the sun and patron god of warriors,” (back to text.)  
  
“I embody the sun, of course. I come from the belief of our people that the sun is what gives life, and that’s what I bring to everywhere I go in time. I became the patron god of warriors because of what happened in one of my lifetimes, all thanks to you,” (back to text.)  
  
“Why can’t I remember?” (back to text.)  
  
“Like I said, we’re all different. I met a god once, who died every lifetime and reincarnates into the next one already awake. You’re the first one I met who can’t remember their past lives, though. It is what it is,” (back to text.)  
  
“What about the abilities then? I’ve been so anxious about the things I’ve been sensing since the hospital. I can’t understand,” (back to text.)  
  
“This is why remembering your past lives is important. When you wake up, you already have an idea on what to do, although your title can also help,” Hinata said, “You’re the god of lost things, right?” he asked, thoughtful. (back to text.)  
  
“I can show you how I became the patron god of warriors,” Hinata offered, “But we have to leave this life. I think being the patron god of warriors is closer to lost things than the sun,” he added with an embarrassed smile. (back to text.)  
  
“Why? And how do you mean ‘leave’?” (back to text.)  
  
“Wait, think about it first. It’s not easy to leave a life so suddenly, unless you want to fake your death,” Hinata jokingly told him, “And you have to think about _how_ you’re gonna leave. You’re never alone in a life, and you have to think about those people you’re with,” (back to text.)

“Are you really sure about this?” (back to text.)  
  
“Yeah, I really need to learn,” (back to text.)  
  
“So how are you?” (back to text.)

“Alive,” Kenma said dismissively, “And you?” (back to text.)  
  
“Heh. We’re the same. I’m just more used to it,” (back to text.)  
  
“So how are we doing this?” (back to text.)  
  
“Actually, I can do this anywhere, but I thought this place would help you,” (back to text.)  
  
“What the hell are you saying?” (back to text.)  
  
“I can’t bring another being when I travel through time, only the god of time can do that,” (back to text.)  
  
“You mean to tell me there’s a chance this won’t work?!” Kenma asked him, “I hurt everyone in my life for this!” (back to text.)  
  
“Excuse me, I did too. You’re the one who wanted to leave, so don’t blame me,” (back to text.)  
  
“Okay? So tell me how?” (back to text.)  
  
“That! Like that!” (back to text.)  
  
“But we didn’t leave this time,” (back to text.)  
  
“That’s next,” [(back to text.)](%#trans40return)  
  
“You’re getting faster, but are you okay?” (back to text.)  
  
“It’s like there’s something stopping me from crossing each thread,” (back to text.)  
  
“Ahh that. I forgot about that, sorry. I got used to it, so I don’t notice it anymore. You’ll get used to it too,” Hinata told him, “let's rest here for the meantime,” he added. (back to text.)  
  
“Where are we now?” (back to text.)  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I initially planned just one multi-chaptered fic and this was _supposed_ to be the introductory chapter, but it got away from me hngh I'm so sorry. Next fic will be a lot more different, exploring pre-colonial Philippines. Please tell me what you think on my [twitter!](https://twitter.com/yadoiAnghel)


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